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Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/21/2008 10:54:56 PM
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marktan2000
Posts: 2
Joined: 9/21/2008
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Hello everyone :)
My girlfriend and I have been going steady for about a year or so. I am the silent intellectual type, while she's the lightheaded social butterfly. She's a little slow intellectually, while I'm a little socially inept. So we're both helping each other out. Sometimes I think we're quite a good combination, while other times I think we're so different I'm afraid we don't really have much in common. She likes to go to parties, to be the center of attraction, gossip about people, while I'd rather have a closer more intimate relationship with people, analyze ideas together, and talk about abstract things such as about the latest productivity du jour fad. We've tried having devotion together, but it never seems to work as she doesn't like to talk about things more than the superficial level. Now we do our devotions separately. We also stopped praying together. But apart from these we're doing good. We love each other very much and spend lots of quality time together. We attend church together, cook together, visit each other's family, sometimes we participate in missions and church activities, go on double dates with other Christian friends,etc. So being different isn't much of a problem to me, not as much as what I'm going to reveal below.
You see, we struggle with sexual sin. I've talked to her about this many times, but I don't really understand her as it appears I'm the only one struggling with it because what we're doing is apparently okay with her. We don't go all the way, but we stimulate each other sexually. It started with a simple kiss and just kept on escalating. I've told her I feel we shouldn't be doing it, but she's quite silent about her opinion and says she quite confused herself. But she'd told me once that it's her way of showing me how much she misses me. You see we only see each other once a week because we live in different cities, so she says she misses me so much she just don't know what to do and getting intimate with me is the only way she expresses herself.
I'd like to stop. But I don't know how to. We've been getting intimate for so long I'm afraid that if we suddenly stop, we both might start looking for other releases. Is there a gradual way to stop? Or would this still be sin and unacceptable to God? I'm also afraid of how my girlfriend would take this as she's always been silent about this issue.
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 9:36:22 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 823
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
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How old are both of you?
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 11:42:50 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1857
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Welcome to the forum, Marktan!
Good for you for being concerned about this issue. I think you are headed the right way in your thinking.
The Bible talks about relationships of men and women being brother-sister, parent-child, betrothed, or married. Unfortunately, dating isn't any of those; so we get stuck in a no-man's land of wanting to be married and our bodies ready to be married but going nowhere. Just tempted, with no righteous way to satisfy it. God didn't make our bodies for celibacy, and few people are given the gift to live that way.
Scripture warns us (as you've already alluded to) against sexual relationships outside of marriage, so it would seem you guys need to get married, and very soon (assuming you're ready to marry), or back way off. You could resume the relationship later when you are ready to marry and see if you both are willing. Otherwise, it looks like you're going to stay in a arena of powerful natural desire and no way to satisfy it.
Sex starts with a glance, a smile, a touch. It's a dance that progresses, and God made it that way. He said it was very good. Any kind of sexual satisfaction that doesn't come from a mate is illegitimate, as you said. It's up to you to legitimize it with marriage or cut the temptation off completely. You weren't meant to live half-way between, and it's not reasonable to expect your body to tolerate that.
God bless you two, Marktan. May God give you wisdom and strength to decide what to do. I am praying for you today.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 12:09:30 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 785
Joined: 11/28/2005
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Flee temptation!
If you can't pray together, do devotions together or have serious
in depth conversations about what issues or problems you're facing...
- you both need time apart to
work on walking closer to the Lord and obeying His standards.
I urge you both to seek spiritual guidance/mentoring and personal
counseling and learn how to effectively communicate not only to each other but with others.
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 9:05:08 PM
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marktan2000
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Joined: 9/21/2008
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We're both in our mid 20s. We plan to get married in about a year or so, after I've straightened out some things. My business is currently getting a major overhaul in its system, after an expansion started to hurt financially and left me out of control. But we're both praying for it and are optimistic everything will turn out well.
The reason I described our differences is because I'd like to point out that that's just the way she is. And it's not that we can't pray together, she just doesn't like to pray out loud, no matter who she's with. So I've led the prayer most of the time. And she doesn't like in debt conversations, of any sort, not just about sensitive issues. That's why our devotions never really worked. What she wants is just to keep everything simple. She abhors deep analysis. And all that is just fine with me because I understand her. She didn't get as good an education as I did, but I know she's intelligent in her own way.
Right now I'm leaning towards making sure we are always surrounded by people. Because I don't think we both can bear to have some time apart, especially that we're planning to get married soon and that she's sometimes helping out with the business. The only problem is I've tried that before, and it worked only for a short period of time. Maybe this time, with more effort and prayer, it'll work?
My other problem is, she doesn't seem to be as worried of the sin or as fervent to chaste as I am . She believes it's just her way of showing how much she loves and misses me. Could it be we were just raised with a different set of beliefs? We've tried seriously talking about it, but she just couldn't explain herself and keeps saying she doesn't think much of it and I'm confusing her.
< Message edited by marktan2000 -- 9/22/2008 9:25:53 PM >
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 11:06:36 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1857
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: marktan2000
she doesn't like in debt conversations, of any sort, not just about sensitive issues. That's why our devotions never really worked.
I see a potential relationship killer here, Marktan: she doesn't like to talk about stuff in any depth. When you guys have problems or need to work on something or understand a threat to business or family, instead of working with you she may clam up. Just sayin'.
quote:
Right now I'm leaning towards making sure we are always surrounded by people.
Smart. When my almost-husband and I were dating and then engaged, we made it a point to always be in public or where my mother could see us on the front porch (neighbors could see us, too). We were never alone.
It was a given that any sexual expression beyond quick kisses just wasn't going to happen, period. We took steps to keep ourselves from places where we could slip. It was non-negotiable.
quote:
Because I don't think we both can bear to have some time apart, especially that we're planning to get married soon...
I wouldn't call a year soon, but a long time. Have you guys gotten premarital counseling yet? And what does your pastor think? His job is to guide and help you.
quote:
My other problem is, she doesn't seem to be as worried of the sin or as fervent to chaste as I am . She believes it's just her way of showing how much she loves and misses me.
This is a red flag - her moral standards are different than yours, and they aren't biblical. She will teach her standards to your children, and the differences between you can cause friction and maybe mistrust. Talk to your pastor, please.
If she is incapable of discussing anything, it's going to be a lonely marriage for you, and highly frustrating because you'll have to do all the decisions alone, not as a team. It's going to hurt your oneness. Premarital counseling will explore this issue.
What about her made you decide that she was God's will for your wife? Don't answer me, just think about it.
quote:
Could it be we were just raised with a different set of beliefs? We've tried seriously talking about it, but she just couldn't explain herself and keeps saying she doesn't think much of it and I'm confusing her.
Talk to your pastor. Soon. Maybe you're not a clear communicator or maybe she's afraid of you (or of an abusive past that has crippled her) or maybe life confuses her and she's not up to the challenge of adult life. Or she might be hiding her lower standards so you can't challenge her to raise them, but it doesn't sound like it. This is troubling, and I'd encourage you to get wise counsel because it could drive you crazy later and have a big impact on your marriage.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/22/2008 11:40:43 PM
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Ninjaearth
Posts: 97
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: Hyattsville, Maryland
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: marktan2000
she doesn't like in debt conversations, of any sort, not just about sensitive issues. That's why our devotions never really worked.
I see a potential relationship killer here, Marktan: she doesn't like to talk about stuff in any depth. When you guys have problems or need to work on something or understand a threat to business or family, instead of working with you she may clam up. Just sayin'.
quote:
Right now I'm leaning towards making sure we are always surrounded by people.
Smart. When my almost-husband and I were dating and then engaged, we made it a point to always be in public or where my mother could see us on the front porch (neighbors could see us, too). We were never alone.
It was a given that any sexual expression beyond quick kisses just wasn't going to happen, period. We took steps to keep ourselves from places where we could slip. It was non-negotiable.
quote:
Because I don't think we both can bear to have some time apart, especially that we're planning to get married soon...
I wouldn't call a year soon, but a long time. Have you guys gotten premarital counseling yet? And what does your pastor think? His job is to guide and help you.
quote:
My other problem is, she doesn't seem to be as worried of the sin or as fervent to chaste as I am . She believes it's just her way of showing how much she loves and misses me.
This is a red flag - her moral standards are different than yours, and they aren't biblical. She will teach her standards to your children, and the differences between you can cause friction and maybe mistrust. Talk to your pastor, please.
If she is incapable of discussing anything, it's going to be a lonely marriage for you, and highly frustrating because you'll have to do all the decisions alone, not as a team. It's going to hurt your oneness. Premarital counseling will explore this issue.
What about her made you decide that she was God's will for your wife? Don't answer me, just think about it.
quote:
Could it be we were just raised with a different set of beliefs? We've tried seriously talking about it, but she just couldn't explain herself and keeps saying she doesn't think much of it and I'm confusing her.
Talk to your pastor. Soon. Maybe you're not a clear communicator or maybe she's afraid of you (or of an abusive past that has crippled her) or maybe life confuses her and she's not up to the challenge of adult life. Or she might be hiding her lower standards so you can't challenge her to raise them, but it doesn't sound like it. This is troubling, and I'd encourage you to get wise counsel because it could drive you crazy later and have a big impact on your marriage.
I'm actually going to agree with Deermouse on all of these issues, but I will elaborate on from experience.
Your relationships slightly deals with some issues I've dealt with in my last relationship. My ex/gff (girlfriend and then fiance) I got involved sexually not too long after we met. Sure, think of the classic stuff, being in love (not me...her), being tempted, etc. You know the drill. Anyhow, being intimate with her became a habit, and then soon something part of the relationship. It got so bad that I would literally convulse when she was in the room and would hold back. We couldn't be in the room more than 5 minutes (most times, I really do mean it) without soon being into each other, if you know what I mean. Now, I did have a guilty conscience and it pained me terribly to be a Christian man and being involved in sexual sin. The mysterious part was that it didn't seem to affect her in a bad way. Yeah, there were little few times where she has resisted and put it off, which was great and I was glad, but the majority of the time when I didn't give in she thought I didn't like her and started to hate her. Now, this goes into her character, and by no means am I saying that your girl is like that. It's just that with my ex, that was our struggle and our weakness. I thought I could eventually marry her and was prepared to do so; I proposed to her because I was sooo scared that I would get her pregnant; that wasn't the greatest move, but I thought I was doing right at that time. I did break off the engagement because I knew God was telling me not to marry her; it just wouldn't work and I tried to force it. That was a huge breakup; but even after that, we were on and off again; it got so bad that I went to get help from the pastor of the church we were attending. He helped in very good ways and kept me accountable. Eventually, yes, we didn't see each other for a long period, until I saw her one last time before I moved. Thankfully...we didn't really do it, but it still was a temptation. What was the final solution that worked? I booked town! Yep, that's right! I took the fleeing literally, waaay literally! Of course, that wasn't the only reason, as I was aiming to leave the town anyway but just needed some dough to do so. But even after that, we communicated a bit over the phone. That didn't work, until she finally left my live completely.
So, what's my point? I"m not necessary saying leave your girlfriend, but if she does not see this sexual sin as a problem now, something is radically wrong. There is no confusion when the Bible makes it clear that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Now, if you two are planning on getting married, that really is good and is a biblical reason to do so. However, the big issue to deal with right now, as Deermouse stated, that if she doesn't recognize this as sin and it doesn't bother her, then there is nothing to stop her from committing immorality with you. If you are looking to do good and need help, you are doing right by seeking help and ways to stop what you are doing. You are being the spiritual leader you should be! If she isn't listening to the devotions and isn't willing to sit down and discuss these deep issues with you and want things to be short and simple, you are going to have to determine whether or not how her relationship with God is, whether or not is it present at all? Cause this stuff doesn't stop, dude.....fleeing town doesn't work, dong this or that won't work; you will find a way to do it if you really want to. The only fullproof way is to either leave her alone completely (let her go) or get married. Simple as that. Decide what you are willing to do: obey God and make things right, or stay where you are and something bad happens? Find time to sit down with her (with someone present or over the phone or via email, something) and TELL her, whether she wants to sit there or not and let her know where you are with this and tell her what you are planning to do about it. If she is willing to stop this for the sake of growing in Christ and living honorably to obey God, then that's a good thing. If she does this consistently over time, it looks like you have found a good one. If she doesn't listen or isn't being considerate of Scriptural matters, then you may need to find yourself a new girlfriend. I hate to say that, but I don't want you to end up like I did; stop while you are ahead; it does not change when you are engaged. If she is willing to put off sex until marriage, that part is good too; but if she isn't willing to change for the sake of righteousness and growth in God...you know what to do. I will pray for you both and I rather you not lose her, especially since you two have been intimate. Make every effort to reconcile things in Christ and get help with someone older and wiser to assist and counsel you both. God bless and I hope it goes well; please keep me posted!
_____________________________
"Spiritual Soldier Ninjaearth"
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 10:14:13 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
Joined: 5/23/2006
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Is there any sexual abuse in your gf's past? It strikes me as odd that she only knows how to express her feelings of missing you in a sexual way.
I'd try to find out about that if you are not sure. I would also suggest the two of you set a date for pre-marital counseling with your Pastor and discuss this with him/her together.
Being able to communicate openly is VITAL to a marriage. I would NEVER marry someone that couldn't communicate well with me from the beginning if I were you. The subjects needing to be discussed only get tougher after the marriage.
There will prob. be children, careers, finances, inlaws, all sorts of things that need communication.
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 11:37:38 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3111
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From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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I'm in the business of biblical counseling and I see those in similar situations every day... so, I'm going to give it to you straight as there is no room for negotiations with sexual sin:
quote:
I'd like to stop.
Then as the Nike commercial says, "Just do it!" We can't "help stop your sexual sin,"...
- You either repent, or you don't.
-You either want God's best for you, or you don't.
-You either want to stop separating yourself from God, or you don't.
Jesus said to the woman at the well (caught in adultery), when he offered her forgiveness for her sexual sins..."Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."
No options...just don't do it any more.
quote:
But I don't know how to.
Yes you do...I just told you, and if the truth be known, you already knew that. It's not a question of "how to" stop, it's a question of truly "wanting to" stop.
12 "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts." -Romans 6
quote:
We've been getting intimate for so long I'm afraid that if we suddenly stop, we both might start looking for other releases. ?
This is a cop out...pure and simple.
"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." -I Corinthians 10:13
quote:
Is there a gradual way to stop? Or would this still be sin and unacceptable to God?
No, you cannot "gradually stop" (what an oxymoron...think about it) and have it be favorable to God.
1 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? " -Romans 6
quote:
I'm also afraid of how my girlfriend would take this as she's always been silent about this issue.
Then maybe she doesn't think it's wrong and maybe you need to re-think whether or not you are equally yoked and whether or not she is a suitable partner for marriage.
14 "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial?" -II Corinthians 6
Bless you as you seek God and turn from your sin. He will bless you for it.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 11:40:20 AM
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truthrevealed
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Mark, I can't advise you on the "sexual sin" beyond telling you that YOU must make a decision to stop. It bothers YOU, right? Then, IMO don't concern yourself with why SHE doesn't seem to be as concerned/convicted as you, do what your conscience dictates. Now, if she has issue with stopping then that's a time to stand firm in your own convictions or re-evaluate your relationship.
What's just as concerning to me is your stating your differences, in light of comparing her "intelligence" and other things to yours(and even her convictions---concerning this issue). You seem to come off with an air of........hmm....... superiority in relation to her and I'd warn you against this attitude because focusing on her shortcomings(even though you state that you understand her), the way you have articulated them in your post, will blind you to your own. That's why you need not focus on how she feels about the sexual sin if YOU have a problem with it before God. If I've misunderstood, disregard  !
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 12:02:46 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
Joined: 8/28/2008
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quote:
We've been getting intimate for so long I'm afraid that if we suddenly stop, we both might start looking for other releases. ?
If your relationship is strong and built on the things it should be built on - it will last. If either of you flake out of it based on sexual desires then its not an appropriate relationship in the first place IMO.
It sounds like you are afraid she will leave you if you stop. You can't continue to make yourself unhappy (uneasy... cause yourself guilt, grief and pain) to hold onto her. If the only way you can keep her is the wrong way, you need to find someone else to keep.
Or perhaps you're afraid that you're so deep in sin you can't dig yourself out. well your right... only God can help you out. Do the right thing and lean on Him in the process.
just my $.02
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 12:32:32 PM
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Auben
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I see a lot of problems here, of which the sexual sin is only a part.
From your post you two seem very different. That can be fine in a marriage, but in addition to being very different you have a limited understanding of how she feels about your intimacy and she seems to be uninterested in sharing her thoughts and feelings with you. You have to guess what she thinks and feels because she doesn't want to think about it (either because it's her personality, or because she's afraid of the emotion, because of past feelings she's running away from, because she doesn't want to rock the boat, or simply because she doesn't want to share it with you).
All of those seem fine to you now and I can understand why. You're very attracted to her and you two have bonded. However, I would be wrong if I wasn't honest with you. Marriage is a long time and is usually very, very difficult for people who can't talk about things in depth. She needs to know how she feels and be able to express it to you. You need to know she can talk to you about the things you're interested in as well.
I think (and this is mere speculation..obviously I don't know you or your gf really), that her attitude about sex has more to do with her gut feeling that you two have very little in common. Not that you don't love her and she doesn't love you, but that a certain deep bond is missing and that sex can make you a stronger couple...it can keep you together and show you how she feels about you (without her ever having to actually tell you how she feels or think deeply).
Again, that's my speculation based on what you've said, but I think you should think about it for awhile.
You two can slow down and even eliminate sexual sin by eliminating alone time; however, if she is not willing or if she is half-hearted she can sabotage this. You two need to be on the same page. You both have to want it.
If you both are truly interested in marrying you will both need some practice and time opening up to each other, analyzing, and coming up with solutions to common problems together. While your current relationship makes for a charming dating relationship it will make a very difficult marriage.
_____________________________
Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 2:58:51 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1635
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quote:
The only fullproof way is to either leave her alone completely (let her go) or get married. Simple as that. Decide what you are willing to do: obey God and make things right, or stay where you are and something bad happens? Find time to sit down with her (with someone present or over the phone or via email, something) and TELL her, whether she wants to sit there or not and let her know where you are with this and tell her what you are planning to do about it. If she is willing to stop this for the sake of growing in Christ and living honorably to obey God, then that's a good thing. If she does this consistently over time, it looks like you have found a good one. If she doesn't listen or isn't being considerate of Scriptural matters, then you may need to find yourself a new girlfriend.
I really like the paragraph above.
My husband and I are very different in personality. I am the bubbly outgoing type. He is much more reserved and analytical. In fact, in our premarital counseling, we were on opposite ends of the spectrum in two areas: introvert/extrovert and impulsive/whatever the opposite of impulsive is- LOL!
I admit I pushed the envelope in ways that made my fiancee very uncomfortable, and I also agree with the poster who said this might possibly point to some sort of earlier sexual abuse. Not to excuse it, but to understand it.
HOWEVER, and this is HUGE, when my fiancee suggested we not spend anymore time alone until the wedding, in order to live holy lives, I AGREED. We both want above all to live in harmony with the Lord Jesus Christ. (We also planned and executed a small wedding in just under two months.  )
That motivation, our passion for Jesus that we share, is the mainstay of our (21 yrs and counting) marriage.
The personality differences have enhanced rather than damaged our relationship. That is not too much of a concern as long as you understand one another and make allowances for one another.
But not sharing a passion for Christ? That's a huge problem. Really, really HUGE.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/23/2008 4:12:36 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
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Thank you for sharing that story shadowspring, I really enjoyed reading it!
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 3:09:41 AM
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CandaceClaywell
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well I think if u guys love each other u should not brake up. its not bad to show someone u love them and kiss them and touch them if its a love touch.
and one q i would like to ask
do u want to stop because u feel like ur not being a good christian if u kiss and ect with ur gf?
_____________________________
Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 10:54:05 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3111
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CandaceClaywell
well I think if u guys love each other u should not brake up. its not bad to show someone u love them and kiss them and touch them if its a love touch.
and one q i would like to ask
do u want to stop because u feel like ur not being a good christian if u kiss and ect with ur gf?
I don't know where you got the impression that all they were doing was hugging and kissing...the OP said it started that way, but now they are involved in "sexual sin" which, as I understand sexual sin, means they are fornicating. That, in case you are not aware, is a sin against God when done outside of marriage.
19 "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." -Galatians 5
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 1:51:57 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I'm going to be very short and sweet about this ...Don't be a fool and play with fire! You've crossed a boundary so the only way to stop is to break up or get married to her! Trying to slow down the heat of the intimacy is pretty impossible if you really really think about it! You two obviously like what you've done with each other so the flesh will probably say -WHY STOP HERE WHEN THERE IS MORE AVAILABLE! Not beating around the bush so, grow up now and don't pussy foot this...have you read the following verse...MATTHEW 5:30 ...if not, READ IT NOW!
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 2:00:17 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
Status: offline
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oh so the are having sex?
there is to much beatting around the bush for me
if ur doing it just say it ...
k well either way yeah doing it before marriage is wrong ...
but kissing isnt
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Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 2:07:35 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
Status: offline
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nah love for each other is all that matters....
u shouldnt brake up if u love that person
and u should listen to urself... and ur heart. and talk to god urself and see what he says to you. and not listen to what others say. god gave u ur own brain to use... not have ppl tell you what to do.
dont brake up with her just cuz ur doing it that is so stupid. there arent sins in gods eyes that are better and worse. so therefore god still loves u and dosnt judge u... god made us want to have sex. and sex is awesome. but u got to do it right. not because ur going to be a dirty sinner if u dont. he says it for ur own good. cuz he loves u. and he dosnt want his loved ones to have pain. sex +not married = heartache sex + marriage = pleasure ... lol
so if u love her dont brake up with her.
listen to ur heart and god
not others...
god gave us all our brain for a reason =)
muah good luck
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Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/25/2008 2:14:22 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline
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Candie...they're sinning. So you're encourging them to continue in this relationship despite knowing their weakness? You're right to say, seek Christ first, but it's really dependant on the couple involved re their fate together...
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 1:51:26 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
Status: offline
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um well everyone has their own opions. that is fine
but i still dont think a couple that loves each other should brake up because of their SIN. a sin is a sin. so should they brake up because one of them has a self esteem problem. or something else. just using that... because not loving urself as ur numbered as a "sin " too. we all freakin sin. we sin daily. god dosnt stop loving us. god is a VERY loving god. GOD IS LOVE. so i dont think if u LOVE someone u should leave them because u have a SIN. we all have sin. and that is STUPID. work on it get better if u want. but dont brake up love. GOD dosnt want that. he wants us to be happy. and its not wrong to be happy on this earth. and ppl need to stop trying to be GOD.
k so dude that posted this
u need to listen to urself
not me
cuz i know i have my opion on this and it might not be GODS opion
cuz i am not GOD and i will never clam to have all the answers cuz only GOD dose.
and dont listen to what everyone else says ... listen to GODS and ur own...
and if ppl dont like what choice u made. how cares. cuz u can never make everyone happy
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Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 1:55:55 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
Joined: 8/28/2008
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My brain hurts now.
marktan just curious how you are doing hun.
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God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 1:59:43 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
Candie...they're sinning. So you're encourging them to continue in this relationship despite knowing their weakness? You're right to say, seek Christ first, but it's really dependant on the couple involved re their fate together...
and no i am not telling em to go have sex or saying what the are doing they should still do
I have had sex out side of marriage...
i know what heartache it brings
and i dont wish it on anyone
but GOD never judged me because of it. he was more hurt that i was hurt. and never looked at me like i am horriable
i made a mistake and he has forgiven me. and i have forgiven myself.
so what i am saying is... its not as UNFORGIVEN as ppl make it out to be.
GOD really dose tell us not to have sex outside of marriage for our own good. so he really dosnt stop loving us. and if this couple is suposted to get married. then why would the brake up
but anyways hun i do see where ur coming from too
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Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:06:58 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3111
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
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quote:
My brain hurts now.
Mine does too...
and honey, it's not "brake," it's "break."
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~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:06:59 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
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Candace, I really think you're misinterpreting the sentiment of what folks are saying in this thread.
@Kat_D you forgot a few 
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Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow t | | |
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