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Need help - 9/11/2008 7:00:03 AM
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MAP2010
Posts: 53
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
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Hi,
Here is a problem I'm having and I'm unsure how to deal with it, I would like to know what others here think. There is a man who has asked me about his father, he meet his father when he was 18 and at first they became friends. But years later his father treats him really bad, even tro he has forgiven his father for not being there for him. He deals with a father who disrespects him and calls him names and talks down to him, he knows he should respect his mother and father. But he said my father acts in the most disrespectful ways, he mocks God uses the "GD" word all the time. He farts and burps really loud as to disrespect me, he uses words that he know his son does not like and sometimes calls him gay. He tells his son that all his friends who are male are my boyfriends. At this point all I can think of is to tell him pray about it, can any one tell me if they have other Ideas.
Mark
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RE: Need help - 9/11/2008 10:51:53 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1026
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
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Honoring your father and mother is a command that (like all commands) requires interpretation.
It is not necessary for an adult to continue in close relationship with an abusive parent who can not treat them with basic human respect. It is possible to 'honour' from afar... meaning forgive, not resent, not blame, think badly towards them or gossip about them. To do this it is not even necessary to see or talk to an abusive parent at all. It does not mean to be obligated to hang around them and let them act any way they want.
In addition, under these circumstances, a man who abandons a baby was not (at the time the Scriptures were written) considered to be the baby's father. This baby/child/youth/man would have been considered an orphan (even with a mother) or the son of the man who raised him. In those days adoption (raising a child not originally yours) was considered identical to having naturally fathered a child.
Our culture takes an interest in the biological parents of adopted children, and it's fine to be interested and try to form grown-up relationships with them... but it's not a parenting relationship.
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RE: Need help - 9/12/2008 3:40:29 AM
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MAP2010
Posts: 53
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
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I was having trouble with this one, because we all have the need to respect our Mother and Father and yet sometimes its so hard in times as this. But it is clear that your right, and I thank you for your help with this. I will pray on it again and talk with him about it.
Mark
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RE: Need help - 9/12/2008 7:46:43 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5573
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
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I think the guy is under no further obligation to hang out with the father.
He can honor him by not talking about how bad he is (gossip, backbiting) and just let the past be the past.
Thsnks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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