|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/29/2008 10:38:55 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
I just got back from a lunch date with my sister, who's an atheist. (Though, she sometimes says she's an agnostic--yet, she says there is no God....  )
Anyway, I spent 70% of my time during lunch defending myself against her negative comments about Jesus, God and churches. 
I deliberately avoided the topic of religion (God, church..etc.) so she wouldn't go on a tirade. But, she kept bringing up the fact that I just got out of church (that's why I had to meet her later than she wanted). When she said "How do you know God exists?" I said: "Jesus said so in the Bible." She then laughed in my face so hard that she almost spit the water she was drinking on me.
I've been going through this for years--and I'm sick of it! I'm NEVER going out with my sister again!
She lives in a different state and I'm willing to drop in for a quick "hi" when she visits my parents. But, never again will I go out alone with her.
Most of my family are borderline atheists and they are SO negative and angry toward me any time I mention Jesus or God. My Dad is the only one who will listen to me when I talk about Jesus. And that's only for a few minutes--but, at least he's respectful and I feel like he does believe somewhat.
I can't think of any other way to deal with this. I did tell her today that I felt she was being incredibly rude and that she shouldn't do things like that. She apologized later, but this has been going on for so long I wonder how sincere she could be.
Has anyone else out there ever had to deal with family members who mock your faith? If so, how did you deal with it?
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 9:12:42 AM
|
|
|
Wild-Rose
Posts: 400
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline
|
quote:
I spent 70% of my time during lunch defending myself against her negative comments about Jesus, God and churches.
One way to give yourself a break and balance the conversation is to ask her questions. Ask her why she thinks God does not exist. Whatever answer she gives, ask her if she has proof. Ask her if she's ever seen a miracle and what her definition of a miracle is. To me a new born baby is a miracle. The stars we see at night is a miracle. Some people see miracles everywhere and some see none at all. Ask her to tell you of an example of when she thought God might exist. Ask her any question that comes to mind. The point is that if you get her talking more you won't feel so stressed and it might open a window to how her mind works. It might get her thinking about things in a new way too.
Secondly, you need to learn some new ways of answering the same old questions. When she asks you how you know God exists give her an answer that she never heard before, something that is unique to you.
Here is a website that might help you. LINK
_____________________________
Wild-Rose
Rejoice that your name is written in heaven. Luke 10:20
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 9:27:30 AM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
Thanks for the link! I'm going to check it out.
I did say one thing I hadn't said before when she said "I know Jesus didn't exist cuz there's no proof." I said "The bible is the proof, like a history book. You (and no one you know) took part in the Revolutionary War, yet you believe it happened cuz you read about it in a history book. How is the bible any different?" That got her quiet. I did ask her how she thought the world began if there's not God. She said it just "poof" happened, all by itself.
I did get some insight as to why she wants there to be no God. She had said she wants to be able to do anything SHE wants, and not be beholding to anyone else. Although, she's been married a long time, so I have to wonder if she feels any responsibility toward her husband.
It's so aggravating to be around my family sometimes. We're not close, although I wish we were.
I was thinking of making a prayer request for my sister. I was just too annoyed yesterday to do so.
Thanks again,
C J
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 9:53:51 AM
|
|
|
Wild-Rose
Posts: 400
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline
|
quote:
I was thinking of making a prayer request for my sister. I was just too annoyed yesterday to do so.
Yes! There are several loyal people who check the prayer requests everyday and will pray for you. Put your request in for your sister and for yourself also. For yourself pray that you will be able to learn how to explain the Word and the Gospel so that others will understand. And for your sister that her eyes would be open to the truth.Also pray that you will be able to forgive your sister and family for their rudeness and that the lines of communications will be open and more civil and loving.
_____________________________
Wild-Rose
Rejoice that your name is written in heaven. Luke 10:20
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 9:54:18 AM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 789
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
When meeting with the unsaved who are critical of your faith/belief in God - don't get into those kind of discussions that are their triggers to starting an argument.
Anytime you're meeting with them - pray first - then go have your meeting or lunch date with someone who's not a believer.
If your family member (or etc) insists on bringing up the same "hot topics" for discussion - respond with - "you know I attend church and my faith is important to me --- you constantly bringing up those kind of statements against my faith/belief isn't making this an enjoyable visit and if you don't want to be polite/respectful... I'm cutting this lunch short!" - so if your sister or family member starts in again on putting down your faith/God etc... excuse yourself from the lunch (or whatever) and leave!
It'd be a different matter if the family member is asking a question about your faith in a sincere manner (really wanting to know.)
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 10:08:49 AM
|
|
|
favoredmomof4
Posts: 24
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
|
One thing that my pastor has said regarding atheists is that it takes more faith to believe in the theory that the world just came in a "poof". Because there is no proof or evidence of that, but there is lots of evidence pointing to a Creator/Designer in this world, like the stars (as Wild-Rose said). As my husband always says, someone had to design and create cars, computers, etc. --- they didn't just "poof" into existence. You may want to study some of the information on Intelligent Design which points to God, even if it is just ammunition for intercession.
God placed you in a certain family for a reason, and as frustrating as it is, He knew you would be one of the "lights" in their spiritual blindness. I can't help but feel that your sister brings up questions and gets aggravated with your faith because she sees something in you (JESUS!) that her spirit really longs for.
I agree that you should put her on the prayer list. My aunt who was lived in a homosexual lifestyle for more than 35 years accepted Jesus into her heart hours before she died. There is HOPE!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 3:29:14 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
If your family member (or etc) insists on bringing up the same "hot topics" for discussion - respond with - "you know I attend church and my faith is important to me --- you constantly bringing up those kind of statements against my faith/belief isn't making this an enjoyable visit and if you don't want to be polite/respectful... I'm cutting this lunch short!" - so if your sister or family member starts in again on putting down your faith/God etc... excuse yourself from the lunch (or whatever) and leave!
That was going to be my next step if she hadn't stopped harping on my beliefs. As it was, the date was short. I just couldn't stand sitting there waiting for the next attack.
Although, I have to say I wasn't the only one being driven crazy by my sister's behavior. My mom said she was getting ready to say something to her about being rude to someone else. So, I guess she's got issues in general, not just about religion.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 3:33:23 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: favoredmomof4
God placed you in a certain family for a reason, and as frustrating as it is, He knew you would be one of the "lights" in their spiritual blindness. I agree that you should put her on the prayer list. My aunt who was lived in a homosexual lifestyle for more than 35 years accepted Jesus into her heart hours before she died. There is HOPE!!
I agree. It was like the word "Jesus" sparked something angry inside her. It almost make me jump with fear because the look on her face was so angry. She needs prayer--no doubt. I'm going to make a prayer request as soon as I'm done in this forum.
Thanks for posting. (Also thanks to Wild-Rose & Jaimestarrcross!)
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 3:34:31 PM
|
|
|
bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
|
If she is rude in general, but zones in to attack you, don't go to lunch with her, and let her know why. Tell her that her ill mannered attacks and ignorant attitude are offensive, and if she can not discuss the topic politely, or change the topic altogether, you are washing your hands of her.
Pearls, swine, blah, blah, blah.
_____________________________
I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 3:54:02 PM
|
|
|
loveleee
Posts: 79
Joined: 6/6/2008
From: Southern Gal
Status: offline
|
My cousin who lived with me for a while would mock me. It would make me so upset and my blood pressure would rise!!!! I noticed she did it because to her, she "thought" her life was "funner" and more "exciting" if she didn't have to follow the "guidelines" of being a christian. She is only a teenager though and has been in a lot of trouble.
So I now try to be an example to her. I want to show her what she can have if and when she chooses to follow Jesus Christ and to quit living for what the world around her has to offer.
When she brings up her view on God, I don't let it keep me from witnessing to her. She always thinks shes right and she will argue every time back and forth, but I stay right with her.
The next time you know you will be seeing your family, pray that God will give you the words to speak to where they will be most effective and also pray for the patience while reaching out to them.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 4:42:28 PM
|
|
|
slushie
Posts: 2016
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline
|
I'm so sorry to hear that. But yeah, you dont' have to put up with that even though she's your sister. What she's doing is very ill-mannered.
_____________________________
Testify to Love
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 7:07:03 PM
|
|
|
sudden
Posts: 164
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
|
Hi Crystal:
I have an idea for another strategy for dealing with your sister. When she starts talking to you about your faith...do not defend your faith or yourself. She knows your views and your thoughts on the subject.
GOd, does not need us to defend Him. It is not we who convert but the Holy Spirit. Arguing isn't helping you - it is making you miserable and it isn't helping her either, rather it is feeding her urge to press your buttons.
Let her go and leave it alone....it is impossible to argue without two willing parties. Will pray for your situation.
SUdden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/30/2008 8:00:02 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
Thank you all for your replies.
bluestone,
I have another sister who was even more hostile than this one, if that's possible. I finally had to stop talking to her altogether. We haven't spoken in years. I really wish we could get along, but that sister is so angry. She screams and yells like a maniac--I can't be around that kind of negative rage. If this sister doesn't improve in her behavior, I may have to 'wash my hands' of her too. That would be sad, but I just can't be around someone who acts so hateful. I am turning this over to the Lord though. If my sister will allow Him to soften her heart, then there's hope for our relationship.
lovelee,
I think my sister's like your cousin in that she wants to be "free" to do anything she wants. And she thinks that God would put a stop to her fun. Although, she seems pretty unhappy to me. So, if that's what "freedom" is...I'm not interested.
slushie,
You would think at the age of 46 she would act more maturely. But, she was acting like a bratty 10 year old. (With the eye rolling and rude laughing.) I agree with you--just because someone's a relative, doesn't mean they have a right to walk all over you.
Sudden,
Your right that the Lord is plenty qualitified to defend Himself. I need to let the Holy Spirit open her eyes and her heart to the Lord. It's just that no matter how I try to drop or change the subject--she always pulls it back to the topic of my beliefs. She says things like: "Jesus never existed--right?" (Like I would ever agree with her... ) I think my best strategy for now is to stay away from her so she won't provoke me to anger. And I do agree that she seems to relish "pushing my buttons". So, for now, the only way to avoid that is to stay away from her. Although, she lives out of state, so I probably won't be seeing much of her anyway.
Thanks again for all your replies!
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/31/2008 2:13:44 AM
|
|
|
relady
Posts: 1281
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Greater St. Louis Metro
Status: offline
|
quote:
I said "The bible is the proof, like a history book But actually, it isn't. It's a book of faith. You need to educate yourself on the actual historical proof at least for Jesus' existence. For people like your sister that's the starting point. She needs some unbiased, secular historical proof for his existence, and it is out there. You cannot give people like this religious proof for your religious beliefs. You will get nowhere.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/31/2008 1:09:33 PM
|
|
|
bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
|
I have concluded through the years that some people just can't be reached by family.
Pray the the Lord will send a believer into her life that she will not be so hostile towards.
_____________________________
I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 7/31/2008 4:37:18 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
I have concluded through the years that some people just can't be reached by family.
Pray the the Lord will send a believer into her life that she will not be so hostile towards.
Thanks, I agree. She needs someone else to enter her life whom she respects more. Appearently, she doesn't respect me or she wouldn't be so rude and hostile toward me.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/4/2008 1:46:43 PM
|
|
|
jsttalking
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/4/2008
Status: offline
|
hey, i can relate, my sister is a new atheist.....she was raised in church, a christian, our mother passed away a few years ago, she divorced soon after, and now the is an atheist, she even flies to conventions around the country, i've found that she is wanting me to confront her about it so she cant start the battle, it frustrates her that i won't mention it - i just tell her i love her and hope things are well with her....da know, jst my approach - anyway, i'm sorry for your frustration, truly, and understand - don't however get defensive and pull away, big bigger keep in contact, that will blow her away and possibly reveal the character of Christ that is in you - with luv
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/5/2008 5:27:36 AM
|
|
|
jmjphe
Posts: 78
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
|
I've found with virtually all the atheist I've encountered its not a matter of intellectual agreement, its a matter of a hardened heart. I tend to be a very personable indivual, meaning i have a tendancy to end up hearing personal things about a person as they talk with me one on one. So I've always seen either some form or anger or rebellion for a number of reasons from those claiming to be atheist. Always act with kidness and keep that in the back of your mind.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/5/2008 5:24:41 PM
|
|
|
norajm
Posts: 43
Joined: 8/5/2008
From: MI
Status: offline
|
Yes, I do know people like your sister. We agree to disagree. Arguing will only frustrate and upset you. Some people get a kick out of frustrating people.
Don't let her upset you. When she brings the subject up politely tell her that you two already know that you have differing opinions and you do not want to spoil your visit by disagreeing, arguing or debating.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/5/2008 11:31:46 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
Thanks all for your replies.
My sister stayed at my parents for a few more days after our lunch, but I didn't see or talk to her again. She's back out west now. She needs to learn the golden rule of: "treat others the way you'd like to be treated" before I'd ever see her alone again.
I know I'm not the only one she's rude to, but it hurts just the same. And at her age (46) it's sad and ridiculous that she acts this way.
I agree jmjphe, she has such a hard heart. She's so negative in general that it's hard to talk to her about anything.
norajm,
I did kinda of set boundries. I told her that she was being rude--and that she shouldn't say things like that. And she did apologize, but she's been this way for so long--I'm going to wait and see if she's sincere. I was hurt that as sick as I was (bad asthma), I came out to see her--only to be attacked. But, I got over it fairly quickly. Although, I'm not going to stick my neck out like that again anytime soon.
Thanks for the support jsttalking.
God Bless all!
C J
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/7/2008 9:15:13 PM
|
|
|
jsttalking
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/4/2008
Status: offline
|
yeah, well, i know where your coming from on this one, mine is the same way at times....i just pray for her, i've kinda given up being the one to influence/change her...my son prays for her too - hang in there
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/8/2008 12:08:34 AM
|
|
|
helper916
Posts: 9
Status: offline
|
I have an idea of how you feel. I have a coworker whose parents both died when she was a young child and she claims to be an atheist. THe coolest thing happen though the other weeked. I was just talking to her about a really funny thing my pastor did. You know the song smoke in the water.Well he my husband started singing it at the beginning of church because it was the intro music and then out of nowhere the pastor bursts out fire in the sky. It was seriously the funniest thing and I told my cowrker about it and she started asking me about what kind of church I went to. I firmly believe that I planted a seed when I talked to her. A farmer does not give up on his crops after the first week of planting nor should we as christians continuing to plant seeds. God is at work.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Lunch Date With My Atheist Sister - 8/9/2008 3:14:37 PM
|
|
|
Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 613
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
|
I haven't heard from my sister since she's gone back home. I don't expect to cuz we only talk on the phone about once a year. I'm hoping that someone near her can be a light that shines in her life and leads her to the Lord. But, frankly, I'm out of steam with my family. They'll fight you tooth and nail over everything. I do plan on praying for my family.
Thanks for your replies.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
