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Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 4:09:50 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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I have finally found the right place for me to begin blogging my spiritiual journey.
I have about four other blogs too. One keeps the public up to date about our blended family. That's important because all of my relatives live so far away, and all of my husband's (soccerguy) friends and relatives knew him before I came into his life and they care about the children born to him and his beloved late wife, Gale. So that blog is for keeping in touch.
I am beginning the phases necessary to start a business in my home sewing clothing, so I have a blog about that as well. The third blog is to share stories of our pets. Another blog is to keep in touch with women who blog.
So this is the place to really let my soul run free. It will be hit or miss, no doubt, with so many kids to care for.
For anyone interested in keeping up with those other blogs, I'll list the links.
I am a mother of sixteen: five I gave birth too, and eleven came with soccerguy. Of those children, two are married, one is about to be married, two are in college, and eleven live at home from age 4 to 16. Our eldest is 28.
Here at crosswalk, I want to be accountable for my spiritual walk. I am still growing after many years.
I'd like to go on, but I really must go pick up some kids at school, so I'll add more after a while. Tonight is my night off! No cooking, no laundry, just chillin and family time. So, I'll get my thoughts lined up in the next post.
catch ya later!
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 6:08:14 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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I just arrived home, listening to the rantings of my sixth grader and his friend about their upcoming science fair project, so I'm a bit distracted.
Lets' see...
I want more than anything to please God.
Remembering that I was created to bless Him with my time, talents, abilities, etc., and also knowing that I was born for a purpose, I long to not only please God, but to bless Him and work with Him in growing His kingdom.
It might be good to summarize my spiritual history, so that I can see a trend in my life toward a destination. I'm probably tuned into that purpose, but not quite aware of it.
In the meanwhile, I try to live in such a way as to bless Him, serve Him by serving others (as in Mt 25), worship Him by spending more time getting to know Him, renewing my mind so as to cooperate in becoming more like Jesus, and continue to seek His mission for my life. Hopefully I've been accomplishing baby steps in that mission all through my time with Him.
So, I'll write a bit about how and why I found God.
I'll write about the truths that became turning points in my life and character growth
I'll write about events that I responded to, both negatively and positively
and I'll carry on from there with where I am today, each day as I continue this blog.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 7:23:51 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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My testimony (formerly posted on the old Christianity.com website)
My testimony goes back to when I was very young. Mom and Dad divorced when I was still 4 years old. I missed the daddy I loved so much. I was not allowed to speak his name or see him at all. In Sunday school, my teacher told us that God would be our father. She led us in the sinners’ prayer every Sunday. One day, I meant it.
For years, I could not remember "when" I was saved. To this day, I do not know the day, just that it was on Sunday morning. In my teens, I questioned my salvation. I went forward at every altar call, hoping to find assurance that I was going to heaven. Also during my teens, the girls' Sunday school class would gather for prayer on Saturdays to anoint the seats and pray for the services. One girl was called to preach. My heart began to pray, let this be me. When missionaries came and made presentations, I was spellbound by their devotion. My hearts cry was "One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life...” Psalm 27:4. I did not know it then, but the anointing of God and His holy presence was my heart's desire. I believed I would marry a preacher! I thought that kind of anointing and holy presence only resided in homes of preachers, as I had found it in my preacher uncle's home, but no one else’s. THAT was the kind of home I yearned for!
(it was a long post, so I'm re-doing it with editing to update it, and to keep it a shorter read).
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 7:31:56 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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I was married at age 17 (now divorced), I moved to the DC area. We attended a Pentecostal Holiness church. I was reared in an independent one, so this was a switch. This one was "worldly" in that they did not have the same rules I grew up with. We were deeply loved by these people and so we committed to that body. As time went by, I realized that the heart was truly more important than religious effort. I dismissed all the old rules and began to search the scriptures for the truth...how to behave (not dress) so that others would see Christ in me.
During the years I spent in the DC area, I had two children. After five years there, we moved our family back to Indiana.
During this time, I realized that my earliest prayer was my turning point. I prayed to God to help me remember when it all began and he brought back the shape of the table I prayed on to my memory. That classroom was the only one that had a table that shape, and that class was age 4, 5. I even remembered my teacher's names. After asking around, I learned that they only taught the youngest kids. Thank You, God, for restoring this memory!
At age 4, I began to pray. That was when I called Jesus my big brother. I would cry myself to sleep thinking no one loved me in those early lonely days, but I'd be reminded that God loved me and Jesus died for me, so He loved me too! How awesome that my young mind could comprehend such deep truths! It was He who gave me the ability to understand, not me.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 7:37:53 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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During my childhood, with God by my side, I had suffered abuse and neglect. The innocent suffer all the time. My birth family attended church, but my life was a pitiful mess. I am nothing without HIM.
Without any counseling at all-did not know it even existed-God helped me to recover from those hurts. I can speak of any of those days without any tears now. It is a time in my life I can be thankful for. "In everything gives thanks for this is the will of God...” I was reconciled with my birth father and his family. In addition, I forgave my stepfather and now I know that my heart is cleansed of all bitterness. Even the sense of loss is now gone. With God on my side, it does not matter what I lost because I have gained everything! That does not mean I do not have fears of being treated badly; I have a tendency to distrust men's motives for various reasons, so the issues are there to be dealt with over time, but still, there is a victory in spite of the damage done.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/12/2008 7:46:09 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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In 1982, I moved back to Indiana. At this new church, God spoke to me in the first few weeks that missions were going to be a part of my life. This knowledge did not come right away, just the intense desire to participate.
I searched the scriptures and learned that "the field is the world.” Mt.13:38. I also could not avoid the great commission applying to me: "Go therefore and make disciples...” In '85, I committed my life to missions. In '87, I traveled to Peru, to get a look at the mission field and see how God might direct.
In 1989, I found myself married to a diplomat and began a life preparing for work overseas as a Consular officer and began language training. I felt God had a purpose in this and my two daughters were doing well at the private school. Everything seemed good.
In 1991, we moved overseas to Hungary. While living there, infidelity invaded our marriage and I was so devastated, I blamed myself for working at the Embassy instead of being a stay-at-home mom and wife. I quit the same day and gave up a very promising future. It didn't matter, though, because my marriage was almost dead. I cried out to God and He filled me with joy and trust in Him. I chose to follow my husband's lead in my life as if it were the Lord.
In 1993, I gave birth to a third daughter. She was like a promise of joy to me from God and I still cherish her presence everyday. Just before we moved away, I discovered I was going to have a son.
In 1995, my first son was born. We were transferring to Indonesia that year. I was content with our marriage, even though I knew it needed improvement. I read every book and prayed for God to open my husband's heart. In Indonesia, another incident happened and I told him I would not allow it to happen again.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 2:53:13 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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After a short nine month stay in Indonesia, because of unrest there, my four kids and I moved back to the states and left my husband behind. I devoted myself to the church in Maryland and learned to evangelize in the malls and door to door.
During 1996, I realized how I had failed as a wife. I noticed that I had been trying to change my husband and so I learned to allow him to make his own decisions. I decided that when he came home at Christmas, I would be a better wife. During that short visit, I conceived again, and found hope that God would restore my family. He returned a few months later to stay, and we found ourselves in financial problems we could not fix. We lost our house and moved just after our fifth child, another son, Wesley, was born in 1997.
By 98, we were preparing to move to the Philippines. I did not want to go with such brokenness in our marriage and family. I spoke with our pastor and counselors. With the promise that we would continue counseling, I agreed to go. We arrived there in 99. My husband did not keep his promise to get counseling. It was my only request of him, but he would not.
Our two eldest daughters had finished their homeschooling years (eleven years of travel and study). I continued to teach the younger ones until I began working at the Embassy there.
At each place I have lived, I have found God in every location! It didn't matter what church it was. I found Him in the silent international churches; I found Him in the louder pentecostal churches; I found Him in the evangelistic Baptist Churches. I found comfort that Jesus was with me, no matter what else was going on around me and I learned to trust Him more. I was healing from the pain of my childhood and from the intense pain of a broken marriage.
When my two older daughters were ready to return to the States to attend college, one chose a simple school of ministry to study piano and Bible. The other chose to enter into the Marine Corps. I really wanted to be stateside, so we agreed to buy a house and live in the states and overseas half and half since we home schooled. I rented for a while in TN, then agreed to buy property from family in KY.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:02:21 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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We began to build a house in KY. I wasn't far from my dad's home, so I was excited to finally be able to get to know my daddy. His wife and children had gotten used to my annual or bi annual visits. When I couldn't come home, I'd send boxes of goodies to my siblings and parents from overseas, filled with all kinds of goodies from the local artisans.
Dad looked over our land and told me what he thought would be a good site to build on. He had been an inspector of homes for the state of KY, so he knew his business. As I drove around with him, he told me of this house and that house that he had built back before he was an inspector. That was 2001. In 2002, I enjoyed my last visit with my dad at our annual reunion. As we made our annual trek to the family plot in the deep hills of KY, my son, David sat on dad's lap in a crowded car. I saw a great resemblance and thanked God that a part of my dad would always be in this first son of mine. I was so grateful.
One month later, this son gave his heart to Jesus and was baptized. My dad was not able to come, but he was with me in spirit. Less than three weeks later, I got news of his stroke. He did not live more than four days in a coma. At his funeral, everyone that spoke only knew my dad as a Christian. Then, I was asked to speak. I told the congregation of a drunken father who was not a good person, without going into detail. It may have shocked some of them, but he had alluded to his past to many of them. Here I was telling them of a man they did not know becaues he had changed that much! I told them of our reunion and how I had seen such a change never witnessed before!
Dad's testimony- the life he lived- made an impact on many people throughout his life as a Christian. The day of his funeral, my nephew and others gave their heart to the Lord because they had come to know that God can and does change rotten people into His people, made in His image.
Let that sink in a bit.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:05:09 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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After Dad died, I felt peace from God. I began to turn my thoughts to getting prepared for my own future and my marriage. It was decided that I would stay in KY while my husband went to Moscow. I would see to the house being built, put my kids in private schooling and join him six months later. But that did not happen.
The house was a problem from the beginning. I turned to Christianity.com for advice and comfort during this difficult time. I felt isolated and alone. I can't say enough good about what this site did for me back in '02 and onward.
In 2003, the house was left undone and we were living in it. When my husband came home, he would not take care of the problems. I was left in July feeling abandoned, without funds to finish and no hope for him to ever care about me or the now three children at home. I really don't know what he was thinking or feeling, I only know that's where I was.
In the fall of '03, I saw an attorney about the house situation and told her of my marriage as well. I wanted a separation to see if this man would be a husband and father to us. I filed for divorce hoping he would fight for me. He didn't. I thought it might work to live separately for while, but he would change his mind. He didn't. I was alone and fell into sin for one month in 2004. God sent a man to warn me of what I was doing and I listened and changed my life the very next day. Then I began to look to a new future, one that would be walked alone with Jesus as my husband.
My husband and I agreed to terms. The kids came home and told me after a visit that their dad was glad to be rid of me. I had said harsh words and he had never forgiven me, though I had forgiven him of his many indiscretions. I knew it was over and there would be no hope.
Looking to my financial future, I told the judge my plans were to work in real estate, get a degree and become either an Interior Designer (that's what I had studied before my first two daughters were born) or an architect.
< Message edited by deb77 -- 9/13/2008 3:18:38 PM >
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:39:06 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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In the summer of '04, soccerguy posted about the loss of his beloved wife and mother to his eleven children. He was grieving deeply. Many of us gals sent him notes to encourage them that there really was hope for him to find love again, even though he had so many kids. I told him I thought he was pretty brave to have so many. I had always wanted a bunch, but never got the seven I wanted. I was happy with my five, though.
We got to know one another pretty well, and since I was chatting with him about work, he asked me to come to PA and check it out. I took the chance that it might work, and visited him and his kids after checking out his story with a friend who is a state police trooper. He was clean; he really did have eleven kids, so I went. We had a great week taking all the kids out each day for fun. I went back to KY with no job.
He called me a week later, and offered me a job! I considered it, prayed and said God would have to provide housing since I had terrible credit by this point (loss of a house and deep debt). God provided me the house and I gave the information to my lawyer. The judge approved the move and so I moved to PA in late Aug '04.
I'll save the rest of this for later, for now, I need to get back to spiritual lessons learned.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:44:39 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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God is so awesome. He has been my daddy, my best friend, my leader, my guide and even my husband during my 3 years of separation and through a divorce after 27 years of marriage. He helps remind me when I have forgotten to pay a bill or place a phone call. He is very real to me. Through my travels, I have seen much beauty and riches, but everything either points to God's majesty or looks very empty. Viewing his creation moves my soul. My soul is touched when I hear a story of His intervention. I am greatly relieved when He speaks to me to help me. He is great and mighty. He is personal and friendly. He is caring, loving and kind. He never forgets me, though I have often forgotten Him. How could I? I am human, with failures, faults and many weaknesses. I have noticed He does not remove the weakness (i.e. I still long for my daddy's arms around me), but He becomes my strength when I am weak. Isn't that in the Bible somewhere?
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:56:58 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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God is so awesome.
He has been my daddy, my best friend, my leader, my guide and even my husband during my 3 years of separation and through a divorce after 27 years of marriage. He helps remind me when I have forgotten to pay a bill or place a phone call. He is very real to me.
Through my travels, I have seen much beauty and riches, but everything either points to God's majesty or looks very empty. Viewing his creation moves my soul. My soul is touched when I hear a story of His intervention. I am greatly relieved when He speaks to me to help me. He is great and mighty. He is personal and friendly. He is caring, loving and kind. He never forgets me, though I have often forgotten Him.
How could I? I am human, with failures, faults and many weaknesses. I have noticed He does not remove the weakness (i.e. I still long for my daddy's arms around me), but He becomes my strength when I am weak. Isn't that in the Bible somewhere?
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:10.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 3:58:42 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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My struggles have been good for me, whether through my divorce, parenting five kids or overcoming fear and a victim's mindset. God uses everything and I thank Him for all things in my life. The hurt and pain has shown me that Jesus really does know our weaknesses. I have observed the sufferings of others as well. Watching them gave me courage to face my own struggles. God allowed me, His child, to endure many terrible things. He ordained it, for me to suffer these to conform to the image of His son. In addition, I still have a long way to go. I am beginning a new walk with the Lord recently, to walk in the spiritual disciplines (if you are ready for meat, read The Spiritual Disciplines, by Foster just for a start).
Now at age 49, I know my redeemer lives and cares deeply for me. I know my Lord's voice but have experienced confusion too, hence some of my questions. I am fully aware that God has a plan for my life, but it will not be mission’s work as I had thought. I do know that God expects me to reach out to others while I continue to keep my family second only to God. Even the small things count, for serving others is the same as serving Christ: "I was hungry...thirsty...a stranger...naked...sick...and in prison...” These are some of the needs I hope to fill as time goes by.
I am no where near perfect; I don't have all the answers; I just want to live to please my Lord Jesus Christ.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 4:03:29 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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When I speak of knowing God's voice, I don't mean I really hear a voice, nor do I mean I know what God wants for my life.
What I do mean is that I am impressed to do something. I examine that something to see if it lines up with God's word, and if so, I just do it.
One story regarding God's voice returns to me often: In Hungary, I had a friend whose husband was helping our group to establish a Bible School. He preached every Sunday at our gathering.
One Sunday morning, I was brushing my hair, preparing to leave for the services. A thought popped into my head out of nowhere: "give your briefcase to Z...” I stopped and considered this. It was strange for I was not thinking about anything other than church. I dismissed it immediately and went on to church.
Two days later, my friend and her husband were visiting. Her husband, the associate pastor, told us a story that made my jaw drop! He told me of the robbery of his briefcase...and I was stunned.
It had been a command, I remembered. It was spoken on Sunday. The event did not happen until Monday. Only God would know that he would need a replacement.
I immediately went to my study and emptied the briefcase, returned and told him MY story. He just smiled with a big grin and his eyes sparkled that God had provided for him in advance.
WOW, I still get goose bumps!
This wonderful young man of God died at age 26 just months later after this incident. I was so glad I had recovered and obeyed God's command in the end.
Now I know that God speaks clearly. Often, a thought that takes the form of a command is now examined very closely and if there is any way to perform it, I will do it!
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 4:23:12 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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Where I am today:
I am remarried. Three years ago, on Father's Day, I married soccerguy, the widower with eleven children. That union made me a mom of sixteen.
My two eldest daughters are married. His eldest is in her senior year at the University, and will probably marry when done. His second daughter is about to be married. His third just started her freshman year.
The other eleven are at home, watching every move we make in the blending of our families, in our walk with God and in how we speak to one another. It's not easy, but I know that God is with us and He is gracious to us.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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RE: Life, Love & Laughter: Momofsixteen (Deb77) - 9/13/2008 4:26:29 PM
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deb77
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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Since this blog is about life, love and laughter, I should mention here for those who believe remarriage is a sin, that I considered this carefully.
I struggled for months over this issue. I really don't know what the truth is on that topic. All I know is that I found a place that needed me and I went because the past had closed it's door to me and it seemed to be good to spend my life caring for others that had suffered a great loss.
I hide my shame of the past in Jesus' blood and ask for nothing but for others to see that Jesus died for me too. He knew I would fail Him. He is restoring me in this new marriage each and every day. I do not judge this situation, but fall on God's mercy for me and for my husband. If there is no hope, then there's nothing I can do. If there is hope, then PRAISE GOD!!!
I know God is changing my life. I have learned so much since I entered into this new marriage. My husband is not a preacher as I had hoped in my teens, but he declares (sometimes lovingly; sometimes not so lovingly) the truth. It hurts too! As I accept the truth he speaks, I resign myself to falling far short of my desire to please God. This catalyst propels me to seek God in a deeper and stronger way.
I thank God that He judges the heart. With that assurance, I continue to walk in the truth of God's word, trusting that He has saved my soul, and He has forgiven me and I am His child.
_____________________________
Love is patient, love is kind... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co. 13:4-8
http://callmecrazy-momofsixteen.blogspot.com/
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