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Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 5:01:30 PM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 227
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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I am hurt, as I'm sure you are, to see so many Christians getting a divorce instead of keeping their marriage vows. We need to talk about making our marriage last and keeping our marriage vows!
How has your relationship and knowledge of Jesus strengthened your marriage? How do you think studying the life of Christ would strengthen your marriage?
< Message edited by Fritzpw_Admin -- 5/1/2008 4:24:47 PM >
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Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 5:17:41 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1788
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quote:
How has your relationship and knowledge of Jesus strengthened your marriage? How do you think studying the life of Christ would strengthen your marriage?
Great questions. For me, I know until I realized that God IS LOVE there was no way I could love myself, or be prepared to know how to love my spouse. Until we have our relationship with HIM right, it will be a struggle to have a right relationship with others.
The Holy Spirit is the one who leads and guides us each day. He knows the heart of all of us and can show us how to love our spouse in a way that meets her/his need. I also have to say it is only through Christ and His redeeming love that I know how to have compassion, mercy, and grace.
I think all those things are tough for some of us to know how to do automatically. Many of us are taught "it's every man for himself" and so we take those thoughts into our marriage.
That is not the way of love, nor is it the way of Christ.
Reading the Bible together every day, holding hands and praying together every day, looking for new ways to share God with others, those are some of the main things that keeps my marriage strong.
It's so awesome to serve Christ as a team.
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 5:20:43 PM
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huckfinn327
Posts: 312
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Jesus is the author of "marriage" ... without Him marriage is not completely defined. Perhaps a quick read of the treatise on the www site below will explain ... Jesus taught Creation-Marriage ... what a wonderful truth.
Huckfinn
_____________________________
NO-REMARRIAGE-THIS-SIDE-OF-DEATH .... JESUS TAUGHT CREATION MARRIAGE
www.jesusremarriagekeller.com
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 6:02:42 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 2936
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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quote:
How has your relationship and knowledge of Jesus strengthened your marriage? How do you think studying the life of Christ would strengthen your marriage?
In my previous marriage, even though Jesus, church and the bible were always part of our lives, the marriage failed. Not God's fault. It was the result of serious growing on-going sin. That is all I am going to say about that.
My now marriage, it is like night and day. We consider how Jesus would treat others, spouse, neighbors and strangers. There is respect and love in the family now.
All this to say, just saying that you are a christian, that you know Jesus and go to church...that won't do much to help your marriage along.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 6:14:32 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5587
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From: Near Boston
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For us, a big component is patterning the marriage on Eph 5:22-33
quote:
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
NKJV
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Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Thankfulness (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/28/2008 7:51:13 PM
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tiffywal
Posts: 51
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God is first and foremost in my life then my husband. I submit to my husband and he submits to me. Our marriage has been through so much, now it is growing in all things God. I must say it is truly wonderful.
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/29/2008 1:07:48 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 363
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From: Fresno CA
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I was just speaking to someone about this. For me submitting to my husband was always an issue. I realized that this was an issue of lack of trust in God. I didn't trust God to enable my husband to be the man I could submit to. I didn't trust God to meet my needs through the bonds of marriage. We are going through a season of trails right now. One of the greatest blessings that I have experienced in this time is that I have learned to trust God as my provider, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually. The Bible says that one of the ways He does this is through my husband. When I trust God I am able to submitt to my husband and he is able to be the man that God wants in a marriage. Throughout this season of trial we have grown closer and stronger in our marriage, because we put Christ in the center and we trust Him.
Kim Q
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/29/2008 2:15:34 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4291
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I have the same reply as Buckifn. It's Christ that allows me to know what it is to die to myself and build my husband up. He has shown me what real grace, love, and truth are instead of the counterfeits that are bandied about in the world and (Dare I say it?) and among the "savage wolves" in the church. It's Christ that shines through my mentors to help me see a living example. It's Christ that gives dh and I both the perspective that eternity and keeping each other clean before God is a priority. It's Christ that shows me, as a wife, what true submission is and what fear of dh means because of His relationship with God.
All in all, I'd say knowing, understanding, and being in relationship with both God and Christ has really impacted my marriage.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/29/2008 9:34:01 PM
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carl54
Posts: 66
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The Bible is the source book on marriage. If one lives by the Beattitudes and follows biblical guidance of love and submission (for both husbands and wives) marriages would be far better than they are today. I go to the Bible constantly for guidance regarding my marriage and it is on the money every time. It is amazing how often I would have gone in the wrong direction without it.
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Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/30/2008 5:39:33 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5587
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From: Near Boston
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Exactly, Carl. So many Biblical passages can (and should) be applied to marriage. Once a month, our pastor preaches a marriage sermon, and he uses a wide variety of Scriptures. I'll take Scripture over the Perotts and Gary Smalley any day!
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Thankfulness (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/30/2008 5:45:12 PM
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HisCovenant
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That thought hit me like a lightening bolt last year, DebbieLynne. I've always looked to certain passages as "the marriage instructions from God." But all instructions to me about dealing with Believers apply to my marriage and all instructions about dealing with others in general apply to my marriage. It was very convicting.
Off-topic sidenote: At that same time, it struck me that all instructions in dealing with others apply to relationships children. Of course, a parent must use wisdom in applying them while still maintaining authority and teaching the children what they need for life and Godliness.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/30/2008 6:04:04 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5587
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From: Near Boston
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Seeing all of Scripture as a marriage manual really is revolutionary, isn't it Zippy? If only we could really latch onto that concept!
Also, it both encourages and challenges me to know that non-believers are watching our marriage to see if Jesus makes a difference. Marriage can be an awesome testimony of our faith in and commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ. It's less about self-fulfillment and more about glorifying Him.
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Thankfulness (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 4/30/2008 11:58:21 PM
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carl54
Posts: 66
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Why do I go to the Bible for instructions on marriage? Well, God instituted marriage way back at creation. Do you think he would know a thing or two about it? I also think it is beautiful and quite instructional the way he comapres the marriage relationship to the relationship between Christ and the church.
- husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church (sacrificial, self-less, etc.).
- wives should submit to their husbands as onto the Lord...even as Christ is the head of the church (note how Christ receives submission...he lives to serve the church -- even so should the husband serve his wife)
- love is not selfish, seeks not its own, thinketh no evil ...(imagine if we would live by these rules in our marriages)
- and many more
Thank you God for your wisdom and love towards us.
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 5/1/2008 7:59:24 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1788
Joined: 5/23/2006
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A great book to read and then connect with this topic would be THE JESUS I NEVER KNEW by Yancy..there is so much in that book that would be fantastic to carry over into our marriages.
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 5/3/2008 9:29:37 PM
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hisglory7
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I am glad to know that there are other people out there who are actually mourning for the family . For broken marriages and those affected by them. I must say I know that feelin all to well and I am just completely amazed by what Jesus Is doing in my marriage. My husband and I were seperated for seventeen months. I was so excited to be free at first, free from him and feeling a sense of relief that we wouldnt have to argue anymore . I just knew I was on my way to get a divorce and get in the dating scene again. All to my surprise as soon as i ordered my divorce packet and sat down to feel the papers The Holy Spirit convicted and allowed me to understand that even though He had allowed us to be apart for a time that our marriage would be restored. Then it came down to the waiting part. When When When. He seemed to be a worse person to me at that time. I was lonely and felt like i was being robbed out of time. I prayed and prayed and prayed. The week before he broke down I said to Father Im Tired. I didnt even want to pray about it anymore. I completely surrendered. The following week my husband called and said enough is enough i want my family back and at that moment God moved in my heart and we became a family again in february of this year. To this day my husband is not the man I left. He is better. All to the Glory of God. NOW HIS SALVATION we are still praying on that please Join me!
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 5/5/2008 8:50:51 PM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 227
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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If we would look at how Jesus loved us and gave Himself for our sins, maybe, just maybe we would start to look at our spouses in a more mature and forgiving light and love them instead of constantly trying to control (what men tend to try to do) or change them (what women tend to try to do).
When I proposed to Sylvia, I said (maybe unromantically) that if divorce was an option, marriage was not. But if divorce was not an option, marriage was! That was over 12 years ago.
We work at loving each other inspite of our faults and short-comings. Afterall, Jesus loves us and we are far from a perfect bride to Him.
God bless you as you are seeking solutions to stop the divorces and strengthen marriages.
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 5/6/2008 5:42:43 PM
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bride48
Posts: 5587
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Near Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gmc4Jesus
When I proposed to Sylvia, I said (maybe unromantically) that if divorce was an option, marriage was not. But if divorce was not an option, marriage was!
Sounds pretty romantic to me!
WOW!
_____________________________
Joyfully,
DebbieLynne
Thankfulness (my latest blog entry)
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 5/6/2008 5:48:55 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4291
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I agree.
_____________________________
-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 9/30/2008 1:18:14 PM
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sukiemiyake
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/16/2008
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What I would like to know is how do I discuss things with my husband that has backsliden. We got saved a month apart and was baptised together. He stopped going to church, he never picked up the bible and read, and it's a problem when I ask him to pray with me. When we sit down to have a meal and I wait for him to say the prayer, he behaves in a really not nice manner.
We no longer do anything together, he says nasty things to me, calls me a nun, holier than thou, until I just could not take it anymore and just stopped talking to him. Today he tried to explain why he behaves the way he is and the reason is 5 years ago I stepped on his corn and it still hurts and he is bitter about it. I had apologised to him for it but he keeps bringing back up.
My life has changed, I attend church regularly and I am doing a certificate in Theology. I mean I've seen where God picked me up from and where He has me today. I could not of done that on my own. But trying to tell my husband that I won't accept the things we used to do or turn my back on the Lord. He's still so worldly minded and I am not anymore. I seek God's face in everything. I think before I speak .. I know I am a changed person, but he just does not want to accept the fact that I am not going to live according to this world anymore. I am living how God wants me to live.
I want to please God with all that I am, but my husband does not understand. He has become so bitter and nasty towards me it scares me. He does not even buy the food anymore, he puts me down every moment he gets. And when I do tell him about it he tells me something that happened 3 or 4 years ago. I cant remember these things, I had to ask him if he is working for the devil?! I just don't know how to speak to him anymore. When he does speak, it's clearly of the world. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, but I don't do things to rock the boat like how I use to operate when I was a sinner. He does not understand the principles of God, serving God or praying, I did not know how to pray... I learned by going to bible study, prayer meetings and I am getting better at it. I am so in love with Jesus. So happy He saved me from all the madness, I love Him and I want my husband to experience that kind of love. I've been crying out to Him and asking Him to put his mighty hand in my marriage. But I have to be patient and wait on the Lord because I know He knows best.
If anyone could give me some godly advice... How to talk to him and not come across too preachy, I would be most happy. I love to talk about the goodness of God everyday.. I don't gossip, I just talk about the Lord and how He has sustained me through it all. I love my husband and I want my marriage to work, God has been good to me to endure this far and I am not giving up. I have been claiming my husband for the Kingdom of God everyday and I miss being with my husband so much. We don't even touch each other anymore, it's so sad.
_____________________________
Jesus King of Kings and Lord of Lords
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RE: Jesus in your Marriage - 9/30/2008 3:37:43 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
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Putting God and Jesus FIRST in your marriage is important. Both DH and I had been married before and really didn't have G/J in our lives at the time. We both know of him, but really didn't know him at all. And we suffered for our mistakes.
Fast forward - we both had giving the "choice" over to God after the divorces to find the right person. After God put us together and we started to get back on track and follow him and learn more about what his plans really are, then our marriage only got better. In our "Marriage Rules" - we have #1 as "Put God first in our marriage".
Its so much better in understanding, facing difficult times, learning how to communicate and treat each other. God and Jesus really do have all the answers to a good solid and loving/faithful relationship for marriage :)
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. I share some of your pain for i am also in an unequally yoked marriage. 
) 