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Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:26:58 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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ok so im at school today minding my own business , and my ex girlfriend walks around the corner and punches me on the face! then she gets mad at me about some rumors that have been spread that i raped her? im a junior in high school i have never had any trouble with the law by the way . But we did have sex over the summer but it was mutual and it was more her idea to begin with . so she hits me in the chin , luckily nobody saw it i just left school and now im at home . i DID NOT rape this girl and i am extremely terrified if i could go to jail . there just rumors ! what do i do? i even appalogized to her and told her i didnt say such things . you people know how rumours happen in high school . could i go to ail if she does accuse me of it ? even though she knows i did do it
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:28:02 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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Sorry " she knows i didnt do it " it says do in the last sentence
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:30:40 PM
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TorchHeart
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What evidence does she have? Right now, its your word vs her's.
Let me ask you this: How long ago was this when you had sex? Do you know who is spreading the rumors? Is it her or someone else? Does SHE believe you raped her, or did she get mad because she thought you were the one spreading the rumor?
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:36:43 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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none , its hers vs mine . it was in like mid june so waay long time ago
its mostly a rumour that i have no idea how it got started . i would never do something like this for one i take basketball very seriously and i would never take a chance of something like this and 2 . i would never rape anybody
no she dosent , she knows i didnt . shes just mad at the rumour and she thinks im the one that started it thats why shes mad
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:37:32 PM
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buckifn
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talk to your parent's about this ASAP. YES, you could most definitely go to jail even if you maintain it was consensual sex. There are a lot of people in jail who are not guilty.
Rape is a serious crime. How old is the girl?
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:38:51 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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i left school because i didnt want to run into her again and have things get out of hand . im a VERY patient person and would never do anything to hurt a lady . i dont even know how im gonna go back tomorrow with her still wanting physically hurt me
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:43:11 PM
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1love1God1way
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If she doesn't say that you raped her and is just mad at the rumors, I don't forsee jail . .
If she turned around and said you did in fact rape her, then it becomes her word over yours, and then it is possible.
Keep lines of communication open with her if possible. Talk it out. Be civilized and adult.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:43:36 PM
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TorchHeart
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OK. Granted, all of this is coming from my limited understanding of the law, but here it goes:
1) If she doesn't believe you raped her, and agrees that the sexual intercourse was consentual, then no charges will be filed against you. The only exception that I can think of would be if there is an age difference between the two of you where statuatory rape laws might come into effect.
Now, if she were to be convinced that you HAD raped her, we'd have another story. And mid-June isn't that long ago.
2) I can understand her being mad about the rumor, but I find it very odd that she would think that YOU would've started the rumor that you raped her. As though this is something that anyone would admit to and maybe even be proud of.
I'm in agreement with buckfin on this. You need to talk to your parents and/or someone in authority around the school (a teacher, principal, or guidance councelor... definitely NOT other kids, but someone who can actually help you with this). You need to get to the bottom of this rumor, especially if she were to start changin her story and saying that you did take advantage of her.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:49:35 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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i just dont want this to go any further i want it to end and for us to go our seperate ways , im seriously considering switching school because i cant even picture myself going back there . she knows i didnt and shes mad at the rumours that she thinks i spread which i did not . i dont want to go to somebody in authority because i dont want this to go any further than it has to
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 3:59:46 PM
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His_4_Ever
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How old is she? If she doesn't believe you raped her, I don't think u will end up in jail. I have to wonder why she is mad at you for the rumor. I can't think of any guy who would spread a rumor that he raped a girl. I mean a rumor like that would get him put in jail. Did you tell anyone about your sexual encounter? Did she? I would think only someone who knew you had sex would start a rumor like that. Is anyone out to get you? I agree you should tell your parents, before it gets out of hand. I would like to think she is telling people you didn't rape her. I know high school is a tough time, especially these days. I would also pray to God and ask for forgiveness for having sex that the truth come out. I'll be praying for you too.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:03:41 PM
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delete123
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Zack~
Do not run from this situation. It is better you talk to someone about this, before she decides to talk to someone in authority about this.
Slow down in your thoughts and talk to your mom or guidance counselor. This can mess up your basketball, so it is better to speak up and let the hot air out of the tires so to speak.
False accusations can be lethal in more ways than one
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:04:37 PM
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TorchHeart
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quote:
i dont want to go to somebody in authority because i dont want this to go any further than it has to
At least go to your parents. You need someone who can help you get a handle on this situation. It might go away on its own, but in case it doesn't, you should do this right away to stay on top of it.
Like I said, I find it odd that she thinks that YOU would start a rumor, yourself, about you raping someone else. It might just be immaturity, but I wouldn't leave it to chance. If her story starts changing and she starts agreeing with the rumor that you did rape her, this could get ugly.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:10:03 PM
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Zack_NorcalRiders
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i cant believe this is happening , what am i gonna do at school tomorrow if she comes up to me again? she hit me today and my jaw still hurts . but i just walked away . ive tried caling her to work it out but she wont answer .
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:10:07 PM
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laura...
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I suggest that both of you go together along with your parents and speak to the principal and/or guidance counselor at school. The school needs to know that such a rumor is being circulated and that there is no foundation to it.
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This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:17:13 PM
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Little_1
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It sounds like you are both too young to be having sexual relations and I mean this in a loving way and not to tick you off. It is not a good idea to have such relations outside of the safety of a marriage relationship and you are feeling the sting of such today sadly.
God does not want to spoil our fun or put a damper on things for us but He is wise and knows that sex outside of a safe and loving marriage can lead into all sorts of other sins and problems.
Confess this sin to God and ask His forgiveness and commit yourself not to enter such a relationship again until it is inside of God's will and remember that God loves you dearly and wants the very best for both of you.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:19:15 PM
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delete123
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Little_1
It sounds like you are both too young to be having sexual relations and I mean this in a loving way and not to tick you off. It is not a good idea to have such relations outside of the safety of a marriage relationship and you are feeling the sting of such today sadly.
God does not want to spoil our fun or put a damper on things for us but He is wise and knows that sex outside of a safe and loving marriage can lead into all sorts of other sins and problems.
Confess this sin to God and ask His forgiveness and commit yourself not to enter such a relationship again until it is inside of God's will.
Zack this is something to truly live by.
Do you think it may be possible your g/f is pregnant and that is why the story has changed from consensual to rape?
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 4:23:12 PM
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colliefan
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This is a serious charge and cannot be swept under the rug. Look at the Duke lacrosse case and what came from a false charge of rape. You and your parents need to meet with school officals ASAP.
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/29/2008 5:02:14 PM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: colliefan
This is a serious charge and cannot be swept under the rug. Look at the Duke lacrosse case and what came from a false charge of rape. You and your parents need to meet with school officals ASAP.
No one has suggested you bring your coach into the picture. Whatever plans you have for basketball in your senior year, you might want to consider that your coach learn about this from you first, and not from someone who heard a rumor going around the school of whatever. Your coach, your parents, and the principal would be a good start. Don't waste any time on this. If you let this work through the school, it'll work its way into who the team is in someone's thinking. That may not be fair or right, but when you are a part of something bigger than yourself, sometimes the collective gets credited for your own behavior.
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/30/2008 1:18:30 PM
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SweetPea213
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That's quite a pickle you're in! How old are you? How old is the girl in question? Your OP says you are a junior in high school, so I'm going to assume that you and the girl in question are about 16 or 17--please correct me if I'm wrong. In some states, the age of consent is different than in other states (I think it's 16 in KY). Well, the age of consent thing isn't the point, just some random information.
You need to take this to your parents, a teacher, a coach, pastor or some other adult that you trust.
It might be a good idea for you and your parents to consult a lawyer, if you can afford it or find a pro bono (free) lawyer. This is much more than a simple high school rumor, this is a serious legal issue you're facing. Rape is a serious charge and it's not something that is taken lightly withing the criminal justice and legal systems.
However, you said it was her word against yours. The he said/she said game is a pretty shaky premise to bring into court. Many judges and juries like PHYSICAL PROOF (semen, DNA, fingerprints, videos of the incident, something of that nature).
You said the sex occured during mid summer. It's almost November now. Why would she wait several months to cry rape? That does not make sense. If a person is raped, it's best to report it to the police ASAP, but not all rape victims will file a report (they may be traumatized or embarrassed and just want the situation to be over and get on with their lives).
Rape is already difficult enough to prove. A lot of physical evidence such as semen, saliva, DNA etc. usually goes away on their own after about the first 72 hours or so. If it is possible, the victim should not shower, eat, brush their teeth or change clothes immediately after the rape.
I doubt the girl in question here would go all the from mid summer to late October without showering, eating, brushing her teeth or changing her clothes she was wearing at the time the two of you had sex. Most likely, there is no longer any physical evidence that could be linked back to you after all this time.
Just saying it was consensual is not enough! There are some rapists in prisons that insist that the "intercourse" they had with their victim(s) was consensual.
She doesn't have any proof (not after this long of a time anyways), its your word against hers (the he said/she said battle). I doubt this particular case would be taken seriously in a court of law--depending on the judges and/or juries still might believe her--it really depends on what they think of the case.
If she hit hard enough to cause your jaw to hurt and inflict the fear of going to school (thus running into her there) or disrupting your daily functioning of life, you could have a case for Emotional Distress and/or Physical Assult or Battery. If there were any witnesses around when she physically hit, find them and get their perspective as to what happend.
Do not be afraid of her, that would just be giving her something she wants.
Please, Please, Please, Please:
* Talk with your parents or another adult that you trust.
* If you are able to, talk to a lawyer (might need your parents for this if you are under 18).
* Do not retaliate when she gets to you, this could make your situation even worse.
* If there were witnessess at the time you were hit, find them! Get their perspective on what happend.
* Do not say anything to her at school.
* If you do need or have to talk with her, plan it out. Go to a neutral area (anywhere but the school, and your home and the girl's home).
* Bring along your parents or trusted adults. I would advise bringing both your parents or at least 2 trusted adults. This would allow them to be informed on the situation. You will have the advise and perspective of your trusted adults/parents. Your parents/trusted adults can acts as mediators if things start to get ugly. It would be best if the girl in question did the same thing.
* Do not talk to anyone at school about the situation unless they are directly involved in it themselves. Those who are directly involved would include a teacher, counselor or principal (if they are one of your trusted adults) and those who witnessed the physical attack. They are the only people at school who should be up-to-date on everything. If the girl in question wants to run her mouth, fine (it may cause more harm to her case than good).
I hope that you find the help and resources you need to settle this peacefully and without going to court or going through a long drawn out legal battle (they can get quite nasty).
_____________________________
"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:24
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/30/2008 1:59:26 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 5771
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zack_NorcalRiders
ok so im at school today minding my own business , and my ex girlfriend walks around the corner and punches me on the face! then she gets mad at me about some rumors that have been spread that i raped her? im a junior in high school i have never had any trouble with the law by the way . But we did have sex over the summer but it was mutual and it was more her idea to begin with . so she hits me in the chin , luckily nobody saw it i just left school and now im at home . i DID NOT rape this girl and i am extremely terrified if i could go to jail . there just rumors ! what do i do? i even appalogized to her and told her i didnt say such things . you people know how rumours happen in high school . could i go to ail if she does accuse me of it ? even though she knows i did do it
How old is your ex-girlfriend.
Thanks
RC
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RE: Ive been accused of rape? - 10/30/2008 2:12:18 PM
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Limulus
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From: Omaha, Nebraska
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
I suggest that both of you go together along with your parents and speak to the principal and/or guidance counselor at school. The school needs to know that such a rumor is being circulated and that there is no foundation to it.
That is what I would recommend also. ...and pray
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