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Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/9/2008 2:21:05 AM
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leebug1998
Posts: 8
Joined: 4/4/2006
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I would love some input/help with an issue we are having with our 6 yr old son. He is our only child so far, so I don't know what to do here.
He doesn't seem to have boundaries when it comes to touching my body and it bothers and concerns me. He will come up and pat my breasts with his hands very lightly. The second I tell him not to do that, he knows he is wrong and stops. He also loves to come up behind me and hug me and pat my bottom. His father and I have talked to him about respecting other people's bodies and not touching any private areas. We are working on teaching him modesty and how to knock when a door is closed.
Part of me is paranoid something is "wrong" and part of me says he will outgrow it as we continue to teach and train him in this area. Has anyone else had this issue? How did you deal with it?
Thanks for your help!
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RE: Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/9/2008 9:23:22 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6025
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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Is this a recent thing or has he been doing it for a while?
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/9/2008 11:00:28 AM
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zoebob
Posts: 8767
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
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If this is something he does without thinking about it or something he is probably just in need of gentle reminders. It's possible your dh might pat your bottom and he sees it and thinks it's OK. He may just need reminders that those areas are p rivate and not to touch there. When kids are little they generally touch their parents wherever and we don't even notice or get bothered by it. My ds would come up and pat on me to get my attention. Because of the height difference somtimes it would be on my breasts but with kids arounda ll the time I didn't really notice it. However, when I saw him do it to someone else I noticed it (he was about 5) and so then I started making a deliberate point of telling him to tap people on the shoulder or arm not the breast.
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L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/9/2008 2:48:26 PM
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HenriettasCat
Posts: 217
Joined: 4/26/2005
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My son who is 5 often comes up and playfully whacks us on the bottom. We actually don't like it and we have to remind him. Hopefully it will stop soon. I don't think there is anything sinister.
3 reasons he does this.
1. Its a convenient height for a 5/6 year old
2. Its a thing some of the little kids at school do in the playground - like an extension of 'tig' but prentending to 'smack'. It's done playfully and teasing and I don't know who started it but I do intend to have a word with his teacher when they go back to school because I don't think it is appropriate.
3. He has seen us playful with his younger baby (2 year) brother. Eg if little brother is without his pants I might say 'get some pants on now or I'll catch your bottom' (little brother runs of laughing to get pants on). I wonder if this has sent mixed messages. It is something we are addressing. (ps pants in UK are underwear - can't think of the American word now)
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RE: Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/10/2008 4:48:00 PM
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twoboys
Posts: 55
Joined: 8/2/2008
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My son is 6 and still does not know what modesty is. He would run around naked if I let him and didn't care who saw. He doesn't understand yet that it's a private thing. I figure one of these days he'll get it.
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Courtney
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RE: Issues with 6 yo son, modesty, touching - 8/11/2008 10:21:16 AM
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leebug1998
Posts: 8
Joined: 4/4/2006
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Thank you so much for all of your replies. You've been very helpful and set my mind at ease.
We will continue with gentle reminders and pray he "gets it" before too long.
God Bless all of you!
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My kids were in a christian school for awhile so I can relate. 