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Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prevail? - 8/7/2008 9:20:01 PM
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savedbylove112
Posts: 128
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From: Deep In The Heart of Jersey
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Is it OK to let someone believe a lie, no matter how small, as long as it "makes them happy" or let's them "feel good"?
Let me share with you the range I am dealing with--and again, Mom is the one who placed this bee in my bonnet. 
Mom likes to be blissfully ignorant. While driving in the car with me, a song came on the radio that I have enjoyed since my college days in the 80's--"Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode. Mom, having never heard this song before and not being familiar with the lyrics (which can be found here), found it to be a catchy tune, and enjoyed the fact that the only word she COULD make out was "Jesus"--because in her mind, if the song mentions Jesus, it's obviously a Christian song.  I tried to explain to her that this was not a Christian song just because it mentions the name of Jesus, but she couldn't be deterred from thinking it was, until I had to actually spell out the lyrics for her.
Another case in point is another song, "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin. Again, because the chorus of the song talks about being "in the arms of the angel," Mom automatically believes it to be a "spiritual" song, and weeps whenever it's played. I'm having a hard time convincing her that it has nothing to do with death (as she thinks), but instead, with someone's drug addiction (as I heard in an interview), and the lyrics (which can be found here), don't dissuade her--she made mention of wanting this played at her funeral. 
She always seems to get upset with me when I try to tell her the truth of things like this (these are only minor infractions, I know, but there have been larger ones that were only resolved when she heard the truth from our pastor after I've told it to her a dozen or so times), and seems bound and determined to hold on to the un-truth, as long as it allows her to hang on to her "warm, fuzzy" feelings.
And she brings this to her world as well. She says she's a Christian--and as Christians, we believe that the only way to Heaven is to believe in the LORD Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sins. Yet, as much as she denounces the teachings of the Catholic Church for their legalisms, emphasis on sacraments, saints, and clergy, etc, she will still receive mailings from Catholic organizations that send her free rosaries and Catholic saint medals, etc, which she passes on to her Catholic friends. And when a funeral is involved, she is adamant about handing them those large Mass cards from various groups--you know, the ones that say "We are going to pray for your dearly departed in a special Mass"--knowing full well that they aren't--because "they appreciate it SO much." And she has other friends that are Buddhist, Hindu, etc, that are wonderful people, sure, so she figures "God's going to cut them a break." 
I don't know why I'm like this, but the truth screams inside my head to be let out, and because I know my mother will never listen to the truth from me, I get like I am now (aggravated because of intense frustration). And even when she hears the truth from the pastor on Sundays, she still chooses to believe what she wants, as long as it makes her and her friends "feel good". 
I know there's a tremendous difference between purposely mis-hearing or misunderstanding song lyrics and purposely denying the Gospel to those who need to hear it, but as I said, this is the range I'm dealing with. Am I right to be frustrated?
Thanks for letting me vent yet again!
_____________________________
Jesus is Lord. Deal with it.
If religion is a crutch, then JESUS is my wheelchair.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/7/2008 9:35:59 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1041
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There is nothing wrong with the good old "smile and nod" as long as it's only about her feelings.
There is no need to get into a debate about song lyrics. You have a gifting that makes you strongly inclined to truth and detail in both the most concrete and abstract situations. I recognize it because I (suffer from it?) have it too. It's frustrating to be in a fuzzy world when you have that propensity.
If you feel she will not respond on important topics, even if you present the truth to her in the best way you are able, then the "pearls before swine" verse applies -- no direct insult intended to your mom. So, even there, it is better not to risk the relationship for very little chance of making any progress.
So it's about you and your frustration. If you can, come up with a phrase that affirms her in her freedom to choose her fuzzies, without actually agreeing with her. Try to provide her the opportunity to ask you a question at that point, but do not force the issue. You can be a source of information and truth when asked, but you do not need to just throw it at her all the time.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/7/2008 10:34:02 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 774
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Does your mom understand the essentials of Christian faith?
That would be my main concern.
* the point that "God's going to cut them a break"
made me wonder if she understands the essential message of salvation.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 1:51:04 PM
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Sadey
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I have to admit that I'm feeling sorry for your mom right now and for you.
It must not be much fun to be around each other. Do you disagree a lot or is it an occasional thing? Do you call your mom on everything or do you let some things go by? Sometimes those who think they have the gift of truth use it like a sledgehammer against those they love. Could that be a problem here?
Maybe your mom sticks to her fuzzy ideas because you are pushing her too hard? Sometimes we moms dig in our heels when our kids come across as disapproving of us and won't stop dinging us. I'm not saying you do this but just trying to give you some ideas.
Have you and your mom gotten along in the past and this is new? Or have you always driven each other crazy? I'm not being sarcastic because we do have those people in our lives who make us grit our teeth and cringe. Its just sad when its a family member because we have to spend time with them  Those other people we can at least avoid.
Hope you get some peace about this, I do know how it feels when you get that knot in your stomach and its your own mother.
God bless you
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 2:40:01 PM
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hotsaucygma
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Maybe instead of giving the whole story you could try just planting seeds. Like the song "Angel", you could just say "Isn't it strange that people can call something as dark and dangerous as drugs "angel"?" and leave it at that. Plant the seed, let someone else water, and let God deal with the harvest.
As for the Buddhist or whatever 'getting a break' because they are so nice, you could just say "It would nice if it worked that way, but that's not what Jesus tells us." Again, leave it at that unless she asks more.
You can tell her what you believe without trying to force her to believe it too, I have never found force to be a very successful method.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 2:42:47 PM
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Focusing
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Well, I believe the truth should prevail ... but you can't force someone to think a certain way. All you will do is make yourself more frustrated. You can continue telling her the truth (in a gentle and loving way) and then let it go, or you can leave the radio off and circumvent the issue altogether (as far as the music is concerned).
You mom has been given the same free will you have, and she has the choice to believe what she wants to. You may or may not agree with her, but outside of telling her the truth, there isn't anything else you can do.
Personally, the only thing I think you should really be concerned about is what she believes regarding salvation. THAT'S the one truth that really does matter. The rest is just *stuff*.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 3:08:12 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
Mom likes to be blissfully ignorant. While driving in the car with me, a song came on the radio that I have enjoyed since my college days in the 80's--"Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode. Mom, having never heard this song before and not being familiar with the lyrics (which can be found here), found it to be a catchy tune, and enjoyed the fact that the only word she COULD make out was "Jesus"--because in her mind, if the song mentions Jesus, it's obviously a Christian song. I tried to explain to her that this was not a Christian song just because it mentions the name of Jesus, but she couldn't be deterred from thinking it was, until I had to actually spell out the lyrics for her. Actually, it IS a Christian song, sung by presumably non-Christians. It's a re-make of a Johnny Cash song.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 7:35:16 PM
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savedbylove112
Posts: 128
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From: Deep In The Heart of Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
Mom likes to be blissfully ignorant. While driving in the car with me, a song came on the radio that I have enjoyed since my college days in the 80's--"Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode. Mom, having never heard this song before and not being familiar with the lyrics (which can be found here), found it to be a catchy tune, and enjoyed the fact that the only word she COULD make out was "Jesus"--because in her mind, if the song mentions Jesus, it's obviously a Christian song. I tried to explain to her that this was not a Christian song just because it mentions the name of Jesus, but she couldn't be deterred from thinking it was, until I had to actually spell out the lyrics for her.
Actually, it IS a Christian song, sung by presumably non-Christians. It's a re-make of a Johnny Cash song.
O RLY?? WOW. That's news to me. Thanks for the tip!  I heard the lyrics and didn't think it was a Christian song--I thought it was someone telling someone else that THEY could be Jesus for them, and that they didn't need the REAL Jesus.
_____________________________
Jesus is Lord. Deal with it.
If religion is a crutch, then JESUS is my wheelchair.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/8/2008 8:19:07 PM
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Cloak
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I would keep her in my prayers since she's your mom.
Most parents are proud and hate criticism esp by their kids.
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/9/2008 4:34:31 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1894
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quote:
ORIGINAL: savedbylove112
And when a funeral is involved, she is adamant about handing them those large Mass cards from various groups--you know, the ones that say "We are going to pray for your dearly departed in a special Mass"--knowing full well that they aren't--because "they appreciate it SO much." And she has other friends that are Buddhist, Hindu, etc, that are wonderful people, sure, so she figures "God's going to cut them a break."
I don't know why I'm like this, but the truth screams inside my head to be let out, and because I know my mother will never listen to the truth from me
Savedbylove112, are you my long-lost twin sister? Because you sound just like me.
I grew up in a cult, and I never heard the Gospel until I was in college. When I got born again I realized I'd been lied to wholesale in my childhood, and that now makes me furious. The most important thing in the world, and someone turned the street sign around. Evil. I also realized my parents lied to me, because they wanted to look like they cared when they were self-absorbed and lazy.
Now I am a maniac about truth. I deliberately stop and talk to cultists - maybe they're just like me and want the truth, too. And if not, they'll hear the truth anyway. Who knows what God may do with it later...
Yes, to answer your question, it is wrong to say you'll pray for somewhen when you know you won't. That's bearing false witness, violating the ninth commandment. One of God's biggies (for the last four thousand years at least).
Jesus clearly said no one comes to Father except by Him, so your mother is either deplorably ignorant about a major part of God's revealed will in Scripture, or she's making it up as she goes along, and she's trying to be nicer than God. She's also giving people false hope; imagine their curses from hell at her.
My mother never listened to me, either. I drove into town one day to visit her, and noticed her 8# cat seemed to weigh about 2#. Mom said the cat was fine. I suggested she get it to a vet quick. She brushed me off. I said I'd drive back tomorrow and take the cat in myself at my own expense because the cat was dying. She reluctantly agreed that she would take it in but let me know she was only doing it to get me off her back and I was so stupid to think the cat was in any danger.
The next evening she called me and said, "You won't believe this - the vet said the cat is DYING! It has cancer and that's why she's so skinny!"
People like you and me have to work hard to keep our eyes on Jesus so we don't bang our heads on desks. But that's what we're supposed to do, anyway. God is our... well, God. He made us, He bought us, He empowers us, He guides us, and we'll live with Him forever.
It would have been nice to have parents who loved us, nurtured us and told us the truth because they were people of integrity. But we didn't, and God for some reason thought that was best (Ps. 84:11). But we have found love, nurture and integrity, and we can be those good people to our children. We can be the Pivot Generation that turns the family around. Bad start, great finish, good teaching to our children to grow up godly men and women in our houses. By God's grace.
Keep on, Savedbylove112, and may God be glorified by our lives, that we can give what we didn't get from our parents but did get from our heavenly Father. Let's go change the world with love and truth - God's way!
God bless you, sis. (((Hugs))) I'm praying for you today. I'll give you hugs for real in heaven some day, and we'll dance and rejoice!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/10/2008 2:31:40 PM
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creationtalk
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I guess the only advice I can give, is if you are sure that your mom is not going to listen to you, then stop trying to tell her. Pray that God will open her eyes to the truth and that he will send someone into her life that she will listen to...and keep the lines of communication open so that if she ever does get to the point that she is ready to listen, she is comfortable coming to you.
There is no point in making yourself crazy trying to get through to her. It won't accomplish anything other than messing with your joy, health, and piece of mind.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/10/2008 5:19:56 PM
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cynthia
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quote:
ORIGINAL: savedbylove112
Am I right to be frustrated?
Frustrated=anxious.
Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
You cannot control your mother’s thinking or her behavior. By letting it get under your skin, you are letting something bother you that you can do nothing about. You can help her by praying for her, but by letting yourself get all irritated, you are not doing yourself or your relationship any good. You are wasting your time.
It is also inappropriate to correct your mother. If she wants you to correct her, that’s one thing, but if she’s not asking for information, it is disrespectful for you to try to set her straight. You may be all grown up, but she’s still your mother and the Lord expects you to treat her with honor.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/10/2008 6:14:47 PM
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deermousie
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BTW, responding to your original question about is ignorance bliss, I like driving down the freeway on a nice day, and I ignore at my own risk the sign that says the bridge is out.
Fantasy is fun until reality dominates.
Yeah, your mom is ignoring some things and it will bite her, but I think Cynthia is right about correcting your mom. It's not polite and it isn't going to help.
To honor in the Hebrew means "to weigh" or give serious consideration to. Sometimes we have to give our politeness to the office because the person holding the office doesn't solicite or deserve politeness. What we see is temporary and what we don't see is eternal. So we do things God's way, even though things look odd. It will work out in the end.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/11/2008 10:32:32 AM
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stampinlady
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quote:
It is also inappropriate to correct your mother. If she wants you to correct her, that’s one thing, but if she’s not asking for information, it is disrespectful for you to try to set her straight. You may be all grown up, but she’s still your mother and the Lord expects you to treat her with honor.
PLease provide scriputre for this because I don't see that correcting is wrong as long as it's done repectfully. I told my mother to stop sending me certai emails because they bothered me. Many were just passing half truths/lies around and others were just no theologiclaly correct.
I agree that ignoring certain things can be the vest way to deal with each other, but sometimes you have to "tell the truth."
_____________________________
Deb
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/16/2008 9:38:20 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
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Matthew 13:54 And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works?
55 Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?
56 And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?
57 And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.
58 And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.
A prophet hath no honour in his own country. Yes, you maybe telling the truth, but your mom is displaying what is known as "unbelief." The Bible says Jesus Christ didn't do many miracles there, because the people would not believe. Believing is an act of the will. Your mother WILLS NOT to believe. The will is the part of us that allows us to make decisions, and it is the part of us God will never deprive us of. Even Jesus Christ has a will apart from the Father, this being evident in His prayer in the Garden when He prayed, "Not My will, Lord, but Thy will be done."
You can tell your mother the truth, and most definately don't stop doing that. But tell her once, and leave it at that. As believers it is incumbent on us to tell people the truth and the good news. Once we have done so, their blood is no longer on our hands. Pray for your mom, that God would give her a heart of flesh, so that she might will to believe the truth. Truth is always in order. Truth is always necessary. Jesus Christ says, "I am the Way, the TRUTH and the Light. No man comes to the Father but by Me." Now with that concept in mind, let's rephrase your original question.
Is Ignorence Bliss? Or should Jesus Christ always prevail?
Jesus Christ should always prevail.
Tell her the truth--correct her ONCE and pray for her.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/18/2008 10:15:32 AM
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CheshireMuse
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That business about the song lyrics made me laugh. My mother and I loved the song "Puff, the Magic Dragon"..... we've sung it together for years.... we only recently found out that its about marijuana.... what a laugh we had at each other! And we still sing it.... just not in public... lol
As for "Angel" - yes, it is about drug addiction.... but, in reading the lyrics, I do not get the impression it's "glorifying" drugs... on the contrary... it's a melancholy, wistful song.... to me, it laments the hold the drugs have on a person.
quote:
ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
Maybe instead of giving the whole story you could try just planting seeds. Like the song "Angel", you could just say "Isn't it strange that people can call something as dark and dangerous as drugs "angel"?" and leave it at that. Plant the seed, let someone else water, and let God deal with the harvest.
As for the Buddhist or whatever 'getting a break' because they are so nice, you could just say "It would nice if it worked that way, but that's not what Jesus tells us." Again, leave it at that unless she asks more.
You can tell her what you believe without trying to force her to believe it too, I have never found force to be a very successful method.
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/18/2008 10:22:22 AM
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CheshireMuse
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TO THE OP:
Has it ever occurred to you that your mother may not listen to your "correction" on the big things (and true, there are some things in your post that needed correcting), because you correct her on everything?
You said you correct her interpretation of things as unimportant as song lyrics. If I was your mother, I might be inclined to think you don't agree with anything I say, across the board.... which would make me discard any correction you offered. It would also make me defensive because, constant correction would make me think the person doing the correction thought I was an idiot. And no one likes to feel that way.
Perhaps if you pick-and-choose your battles your words might be better received. My advice is to lighten up on your mom on the unimportant things....
I mean, really.... so what if she likes "Angel"? Don't sweat the small stuff.
_____________________________
Peace,
Muse
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/18/2008 2:42:08 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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reminds me of Dave Ramsey (Christian financial planner) calling something like this powdered butt syndrome where once you've powdered someone's butt, you don't want to take advice from them. i do have problem with people who want to ignore things or pretend everything is okay. i really don't know all the circumstances that are going on but yeah you can be frustrated.
btw reading the lyrics to angel and it obv means different things to different people. one of the members of Run DMC credits that song for saving his life as he was struggling with life purpose and suicidal thoughts. reading the lyrics quickly to angel, the song may be intended about someone escaping from the world with drugs, but why can't one escape other ways? if you look at lyrics sites, some websites have hundreds of comments from people going back and forth about what a song meant to them. jon foreman in switchfoot says he tries to include multiple meanings in his lyrics/songs for a variety of people. people argue about what a painting means, books even (is great gatsby an allegory?). why does your interpretation have to be correct. she sang this song and dedicated it to a cancer victim (Linda McCartney) at a live covecert, allowed it to be used for an animal cruelty campaign. is even sarah wrong for doing this.
ps johnny cash covered personal jesus (not vice versa as another poster suggested) but so did marilyn manson and so there are lots of people reading into it. why can't your mom?
she does sound like my mom a bit about the cutting a break. there are lots of people who go to church every Sunday who believe that. i don't know what to do with someone who wants a warm and fuzzy, there maybe not very much. you mentioned her friends, she has obviously surrounded herself to be sheltered and not have her boat rocked. what can we do? pray and try to be patient.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/18/2008 3:38:33 PM
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buckifn
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There are two very different issues here..
1. Telling the truth
2. Correcting your mother
For the first one, I believe we are to always speak the truth in love as the WORD tells us.
However, I also believe it's your mother's business and not yours if she likes or dislikes a specific song.
There has got to be other ways besides debating the lyrics of one song that you can make sure she knows how much God loves her and wants a personal relationship with her.
I think it's a lot better usage of time to also make sure you are showing your mother you love her too. Criticizing her choices really is not going to draw her closer to you, or to Christ is it?
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/21/2008 12:49:36 AM
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savedbylove112
Posts: 128
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OK--so how about these 2 latest examples:
I bought a fruit salad from the store for everyone to share, at Mom's request. It sat in the fridge for 2 days, then Mom takes it out, adds some bananas to it, spoons it into bowls, and tells us to come and get it. Later on, she asked the kids if they liked "the fruit salad she made for them." She didn't make the whole thing, she just added some banana, but to her, that gives her the right to say SHE made the WHOLE salad.
In 1993, Mom took me and my then-3-yr-old daughter on the now-defunct Big Red Boat cruise. A great time was had by all, and it featured Disney characters. Today, Mom tells everyone she took us on a Disney Cruise, which not only did NOT exist in 1993, but is far more expensive than that was. Now when the average person hears "Disney Cruise Lines", this is what they think of. I tell Mom, It wasn't a real Disney cruise, but again, she gets hostile and defensive.
I just don't like the idea of re-phrasing the truth to make people think something that isn't true. Like the way she tells people "she put me through college"--most people, upon hearing that, would think Mom coughed up mucho bucks for me to go to school, but she didn't pay dime 1--It took me close to 14 years to pay off my student loans on my own, as they were all in MY name, not hers. She always seems to skew the facts in her favor, and when I try to correct her, I get all sorts of evil flack. I hate to do it, but I'm learning to just go "Yes, Dear" and to pick my battles according to size and threat level, and I'm teaching my now-18-yr-old to do the same.
_____________________________
Jesus is Lord. Deal with it.
If religion is a crutch, then JESUS is my wheelchair.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/21/2008 12:52:01 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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Have you thought of seeing a counselor? Seriously, you can't build up so much resentment day to day and be healthy, I wouldn't think. You can't change your mother, either.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 8/21/2008 9:48:44 AM
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Sadey
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I think it would help if you could step out of the daughter role and look at your mom as a person. She is either so insecure that she has to take credit for the fruit salad, and has to make the cruise, the Disney Cruise and has to take credit for your college costs, and be untruthful, or she may really believe these things. Either way you can't change her but you can change your reaction to her "crazymaking". I agree with the suggestion to get counseling to help you deal with this. I know it drives you nuts when your mom does this.
Why is it harder to extend grace to family member than to strangers? If you find the answer to that please share it with me.
I hope you can get some peace about your mom, because after shes gone it will be harder for you to resolve this
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 9/8/2008 5:05:59 PM
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savedbylove112
Posts: 128
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Deep In The Heart of Jersey
Status: offline
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OK--Mom is starting to scare me now, folks...
The other day, I'm driving Mom and my daughter to church, and a driver cuts me off, and without thinking I verbally chastise him (no, I didn't swear, I called him a ninny or something like that ). Mom says to me, "That wasn't very nice." to which I reply, "Yeah, like you've never done it." And her reply? "No, I haven't."
I said, "Mom, you've NEVER cursed out a driver?" (knowing she has), and she goes, "No, I would never do that!" I made a comment about wishing I had a camera while she drives, and she says, "Yes, I wish you did too, so you'd see you're wrong!"
Folks--my daughter and I have NO LOGICAL REASON to LIE about this. What benefit would it be? And we have BOTH been present when Mom has cursed like a sailor at other drivers, whether she's driving or I am. I admit the other stuff I correct her on is pretty petty compared to THIS.
I let it go, knowing she'd never admit it, but rather than get indignant (like I always do in my fat flesh when she "won't accept loving correction" , I got genuinely concerned. I can't tell if she's either denying her sins, which the Bible clearly states is a no-no, or she's blocking out any memory of her doing something wrong--which she is constantly accusing OTHER family members of doing.
Could Mom really be losing it? That would be easier to accept than to think she's picking and choosing what parts of her past to admit to--she'll be more than happy to recall a good deed she did, but try and get her to admit a fault, and you'll find yourself against a brick wall. I think I'm starting to lose it!
_____________________________
Jesus is Lord. Deal with it.
If religion is a crutch, then JESUS is my wheelchair.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 9/8/2008 8:13:35 PM
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Sadey
Posts: 531
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline
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I have a relative like your mom. I never did figure out what to do about their lying. So I'm afraid I'm not much help. But I do feel sorry for you and hope things get better. You probably won't be able to change your mom but maybe some counseling would help you to not go crazy when you're with her.
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RE: Is Ignorance Bliss? Or should the Truth ALWAYS prev... - 9/8/2008 10:08:42 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6013
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: savedbylove112
The other day, I'm driving Mom and my daughter to church, and a driver cuts me off, and without thinking I verbally chastise him (no, I didn't swear, I called him a ninny or something like that ). Mom says to me, "That wasn't very nice." to which I reply, "Yeah, like you've never done it." And her reply? "No, I haven't."
Could Mom really be losing it? That would be easier to accept than to think she's picking and choosing what parts of her past to admit to--she'll be more than happy to recall a good deed she did, but try and get her to admit a fault, and you'll find yourself against a brick wall. I think I'm starting to lose it!
It's a common thing for older people to forget things they don't want to remember (and things they do want to remember too).
If my mum had said "that wasn't very nice" concerning me saying something about another driver, I'd have just shrugged, not tried to get back at her over it.
I honestly think you would benefit from just practising letting these things roll over you and not reacting.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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