1love1God1way
Posts: 2008
Joined: 5/16/2005
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Heaven must be near.
Those words ringing in my head. The joker spoke them, and they buried themselves deep into my mind, consuming my every thought. It’s what set me on this mission.
And so I walk this beach, searching for the heartbeat. I knew it resonated throughout the stars in the sky and the waves crashing, but where was it? I had to know. I had to seek. I had to keep on pursuing. To give up was to die. How could I live without it?
And so I walked, and the water washed up againt my feet. And in the water lay a mermaid.
“What are you doing, traveler?” Mischievous little creatures. They mean well, but they are blinded to reality.
“I’m searching for Love, mermaid.”
“Traveler, you are weary. Come rest. You must learn to let go of this dream.”
Silly creatures. They speak as though they can see my soul. If only they knew.
“No. I must be on my way. There is something out there bigger than myself. But thank you for your kindness.” And so I left, without looking back, knowing I could never return to this spot again.
And I pushed on, as the moon cast it’s violent shadows against jagged rock. And upon the largest rock stood a man. He was elderly, fatherly, and yet something startled me about his stature.
“Son, for what cause are you out in this dangerous land?” He spoke as if I was out of my mind. Maybe I was, but he must know no danger could keep me from this journey.
“I’m searching for Hope, sir.”
“Hope? You are only heading for pain. Go home, son.”
Old man. How could see that pain so often goes hand in hand with hope?
“Sir, I must press on. I am drawn to something out there bigger than me.” And so I left, without looking back, knowing I could never return to this spot again.
And so I moved on, and darkness creeped into every corner. In the darkest of corners was a bear.
“Boy, what are you doing out in the dark?” It spoke sternly, and yet there was a tenderness in its voice.
“I’m in search of Happiness, bear.”
“You can’t find that out there. You can only find that within yourself.” Foolish animal. How could it know that what I needed to find is what made me whole to begin with?
“I believe Happiness is bigger than myself, and I must keep seeking it.” And so I left, without looking back, knowing I could never return to this spot again.
And so I journied on.
The night was still fresh, and I had so far to go. But I knew I had to keep on.
I wondered how many beings would I cross along the way, who spoke as though they could see my heart and know my destination? How many dark corners and jagged rocks and salty seas would I have to travel across? Would there be pain? Would there be suffering? Would it be easier to turn around, to end it all, to let go of this desire within me?
Perhaps.
But I knew the search was a search for something worth fighting for. Something worth dying for. Something that was more. More than me. More than you. More than the world of worlds. It was Existence. It was Being. It was Life.
And so I journeyed on, never looking back, knowing I could never stop until I found it.
Heaven must be near still repeating itself within my mind, my soul, my heart, my strength.
Heaven must be near.
_____________________________
-Ben-
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