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Cant get in the mood - 7/16/2008 6:25:32 PM
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sruiz
Posts: 3
Joined: 7/16/2008
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I been with my husband for about 7 years, but we just recently got married in May of this year. I know that I love him, but I know I mainly got married to be obedient. Everysince I became christian and felt the convicrtion of the Lord, my intimate attraction died down. Its been about 2 years now since I actually felt intimate at all. We do have sex, but Its never me that initiates it, or it taked maybe about 5 times of asking for me to even say yes. And its not that its not good, My husband goes over board with pleasing me, but I still Never want? I dont understand or get whats wrong with me?
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/16/2008 6:31:38 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11461
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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Moving this from Marriage to Women Only, as sexual topics are not discussed in mixed company on the forums.
Thanks!
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/16/2008 9:24:57 PM
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RepentanceIsRequired
Posts: 1110
Joined: 9/14/2005
From: Home is where the heart is.
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I understand how you feel. Hubby and I have been married for 7 years. Very rarely am I ever the one to initiate. Something that helps me is to remember and think of the things that I love so much about him. It helps me in that I begin to have the desire to make him feel loved and needed. (not sure if I am explaining myself well here). Knowing that I am pleasing him and making him feel good helps me to respond better. You are in my prayers.
_____________________________
--Nicole--
"Trying to be a perfect mother is a recipe for perfect insanity." -- SurpassingPeace
"I don't know what I just ate, but it was good" -- recent customer (farmer) at our restaurant.
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/16/2008 9:35:08 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1762
Joined: 2/28/2007
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I totally understand that. My husband does alot for me and I still can't get myself to just go with it, I guess. We do trade massages, and things like that, and we do have sex, but it is rare that I feel comfortable with it. I feel bad because I know that I can't hold him off all of the time, but at the same time, if I am not ready, then I can't relax and if I can't relax, then it is like he is forcing me. (at least in his mind) I know that there are times of the month where it is harder than others when my hormones start to go nuts, but that doesn't account for the rest of the month. But I totally get what you are saying. You are not alone there.
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/16/2008 11:13:06 PM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1983
Joined: 12/2/2005
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quote:
Everysince I became christian and felt the convicrtion of the Lord, my intimate attraction died down.
Just trying to clarify/understand -- so you were sexually active before you became a Christian, and once you became a Christian and the Lord convicted you, your desire subsided? Is that correct? And you are married now . . . . is there possibly some guilt to overcome for past sin? The Lord has forgiven your sins, you are following him, but I understand some things are hard to heal from. If this is the case, I'm not sure what advice I have, just to stay in the Word, pray, and seek some guidance here.
Second question, purely on the physical side -- are you on any kind of hormonal birth control? Were you in the past? You said it has been 2 years since your desire subsided, has anything changed physically for you in those 2 years (medications, illnesses, etc.?). There are many things that can affect libido.
_____________________________
<<< My littlest punkin'
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
pirtlefarm.blogspot.com
Beware of posing as a profound person -- God became a baby. ~Oswald Chambers
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/17/2008 2:06:20 PM
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firefightermama
Posts: 1378
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
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quote:
ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
Second question, purely on the physical side -- are you on any kind of hormonal birth control? Were you in the past? You said it has been 2 years since your desire subsided, has anything changed physically for you in those 2 years (medications, illnesses, etc.?). There are many things that can affect libido.
Anti-depressants can have that effect also.
_____________________________
~yolanda~
"I wish I was a glow worm, cuz glow worms are never glum.
How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/17/2008 5:24:53 PM
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3tulips
Posts: 329
Joined: 2/1/2007
From: sandy shore
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I recommend reading the book "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldham and also pray every day that God opens the desire back up for your husband. Do you need to repent for having sex before marriage?
_____________________________
I opened up the mouth of love and found the wisdom tooth. Larry Norman 1947 - 2008
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/19/2008 1:15:20 AM
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Kia_Grl21
Posts: 146
Joined: 9/10/2007
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What about birth control? I was on BC for about two years and our bedroom life suffered terribly, I have been off for six months and my body is acting normally and its like we're newly weds again!!
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RE: Cant get in the mood - 7/24/2008 4:23:04 PM
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sudden
Posts: 164
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
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If you are in your late 40s or early 50s, it could be the change of life. Libido often gets lower...but there is help from your doctor.
No matter what age you are I'd suggest you see your doctor. Hormone levels or some other physical difficulty may be causing this.
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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