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Best to be Opposites or Similar? - 8/28/2008 2:27:23 PM
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cherryfly
Posts: 300
Joined: 6/19/2006
From: The Twilight Zone
Status: offline
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I recently met a very cool guy on a Christian Dating site, and we have some similar interests, but we are even more similar in personality, it appears. Both of us tend to be shy and quiet in person, and are more introspective. NOTE: We have not met in person, this is just his discription of his personality I'm going on.
My question is, would we make a good match? Most people say how opposites attract, and how opposites compliment each other. But how about people with similar personalities? With both of us quiet and awkward around people we don't know, would it just not work out? Not that we are serious in our relationship just yet, but it's had me thinking about "what if?"
Thank you in advance for any feedback.
_____________________________
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
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RE: Best to be Opposites or Similar? - 8/28/2008 3:27:41 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1859
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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The more similarities, the easier is the adjustment in marriage. But differences are attractive because we want people who have strengths that we ourselves lack. So it's a balancing act.
Think of marriage as a rock tumbler. God knows the hard points we have that need wearing off by another person, and the soft spots we have that need polishing and need someone else's toughness there. We can't guess what those will be usually, so it's best to leave match-making to God, because He knows and He has our best interests at heart.
The best way I can think of, and I'm certainly no expert but this seems to work, is to decide what are deal-breakers for you and then see how the other person measures up to them. The things lacking in a potential mate that cause an automatic rejection are:
1. strong faith in God and mature in dealing with their own sin. They should be committed to being in their Bibles regularly and doing what it says (loving the brethren fervently, avoiding sin, living for others, etc.). They should have a good reputation with their pastor, elders, mature Christians who've known them for years, and friends (you pick friends like yourself, so look at theirs to see who they are).
2. available (not already married, engaged, divorced but not because a mate cheated on them, or raising their kids from a "serious relationship")
3. human (you laugh. Just watch the news)
4. mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy. Physically healthy is up to you.
Beyond this, it's just person taste. What faults can you live with? Does a raised toilet seat send you into a rage? Consider your own maturity and health.
If all the major points for both of you are "go" then it's up to you if you want to marry them or not. I don't have Scripture to back this up, so take it as my opinion for what it's worth.
God bless you, dear one. I am praying for you today.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Best to be Opposites or Similar? - 8/28/2008 3:30:17 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3119
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
Status: offline
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quote:
Best to be Opposites or Similar?
It's best to be with the one God intended you to be with.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Best to be Opposites or Similar? - 8/28/2008 8:06:32 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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Comparing my first marriage (which was more opposite then same) and my marriage now (very much same); I would go with the majority of same things; with a few different.
While opposites attract - its only for a short time and then you really don't have enough to keep the relationship together.
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