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Battling Infertility - 10/23/2008 9:51:42 PM
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tilley87
Posts: 1
Joined: 10/23/2008
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Well, two years ago my husband and I decided that we wanted to start a family. We both love children and decided to start trying to have our own. Well, a few months went by and nothing. I kind of expected not to have any luck to start out with because I was on birth control, but then a year went by and nothing, and then six more months. Our doctors told us that we are healthy. It's been a total of two years now. I don't know how to feel. I feel like there are these women out there that get pregnant and don't want their baby or mistreat their children and I want a baby so bad and I can't even get pregnant. Why? .. I see a baby or hear that someone is pregnant and I well up with tears because that is what I want so bad. I just cannot imagine never getting pregnant and never having any children... I know that God has a plan...I guess I just really need some words of wisdom and prayer.
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RE: Battling Infertility - 10/24/2008 5:39:48 PM
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deedeeowens
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/10/2008
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My sister-in-law went through the same thing. They wanted children so badly, and after a couple of years of trying nothing was happening. Be encouraged! My sister-in-law is the mother of 3 girls now! (Three separate pregnancy's). They didn't use artificial means to stimulate it. This sounds really weird, but she finally got pregnant after she bought a puppy. To this day she says that babying that pup is what finally brought it on! I don't know if there is anything to that, but that's what she says.
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RE: Battling Infertility - 10/25/2008 12:01:21 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deedeeowens
My sister-in-law went through the same thing. They wanted children so badly, and after a couple of years of trying nothing was happening. Be encouraged! My sister-in-law is the mother of 3 girls now! (Three separate pregnancy's). They didn't use artificial means to stimulate it. This sounds really weird, but she finally got pregnant after she bought a puppy. To this day she says that babying that pup is what finally brought it on! I don't know if there is anything to that, but that's what she says.
That makes sense. You hear a lot of stories about people who can't get pregnant, adopt, and and then BOOM get pregnant all of a sudden..I think it is because the pressure is off...I know some kinds of infertility that never happens..but it happens a lot. So, in your sister in laws case, I think the puppy, rather than an adopted baby, helped get her focus off of the problem.
I AM NOT EQUATING ADOPTED BABIES TO PUPPIES..please don't anyone think that.
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RE: Battling Infertility - 10/25/2008 6:45:49 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2585
Joined: 4/12/2005
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OP
quote:
I don't know how to feel. I feel like there are these women out there that get pregnant and don't want their baby or mistreat their children and I want a baby so bad and I can't even get pregnant. Why? .. I see a baby or hear that someone is pregnant and I well up with tears because that is what I want so bad. I just cannot imagine never getting pregnant and never having any children... I know that God has a plan...I guess I just really need some words of wisdom and prayer.
First of all, there is nothing wrong with grieving the loss of that experience. God built it into (most of) us to desire children and to want that physical connection to childraising. Children are a gift and a blessing and it hurts to be denied them, for whatever reason. It is not fair or kind to minimize or dismiss that pain, and I hope no one has done that to you or made you feel like your sadness is overblown.
Lay your fertility in God's hands, and see what he does. In the meantime, there are many, many ways you can redirect all that pent up love and affection. There are many children in this world who are longing for someone to love on them, brush thier hair, kiss them goodnight, and teach them about God--you can be a parent without ever giving birth. If you never get pregnant, you may feel sad about that for the rest of your life, and I wouldn't blame you at all, but there is no lack of children in the world who would benefit from the love you have to give.
quote:
That makes sense. You hear a lot of stories about people who can't get pregnant, adopt, and and then BOOM get pregnant all of a sudden..
lol. My parents gave up trying after me and adopted my brother. My two baby sisters who came after him really surprised my folks!  I once read something by a couple who experienced infertility and then adopted, and then were surprised with bio children--something to the effect that they believe God used that infertility to open thier hearts to adoption, as it wouldn't have been a consideration if they'd had an easy time getting pregnant. Their adopted child desperately needed a loving home, and they believe God used that time when they suffered through infertility to open up a space in thier family for him.
OTOH, one of my dearest friends cannot get pregnant (barring a genuine miracle) because of cancer she had in her teens. They have adopted two little boys and know that adoption is the only way thier family will grow. I think any children they adopt are pretty much the luckiest children in the world who will be raised by such a wonderful couple with a wonderful, close-knit extended family and church community. 
_____________________________
 Moo
Shameless Self Promotion
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RE: Battling Infertility - 10/25/2008 1:46:51 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16425
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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Moderator's Note:
This topic is better discussed in the Trying to Conceive thread in Women Only.
Please follow the link below to take part in that conversation and the support and advice offered there. Thanks!
Trying to Concieve (TTC) Round 3
Please do not reply to this message within the Community, or PM me regarding this message.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Sincerely,
Karlie
Forums Moderator
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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
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