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At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 8:12:42 PM
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dandy123
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/25/2008
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I am new here and this is my first post, I am just about at the breaking point in my life, I am so angry at God, I feel bad for feeling that way but I can't help it. Some background - I'm 31, have been a single parent since I was 22 (my son's whole life - he's 8). Since his birth I have been working 45-50hrs/week to try to
make ends meet, for all the good it does I may as well not work at all. I work, pay bills, and have nothing left over. Just this week (the week I'm on vacation, no less, and am supposed to be relaxing) I got an unexpected dental bill, speeding ticket, and my check engine light is on (after I just spent $600.00 on my credit card to get a part replaced several weeks ago). I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck and not getting child support, I live in PA and the domestic relations section in our county doesn't care that he doesn't pay, it just keeps racking up and whenever I call to see what is going on and why he's not paying, no one knows. I am tired of working FT, paying all of these daycare, health insurance expenses, etc,
and then having to turn around and borrow money from people, after 8 years everyone around me is tired of it and I am too. I have sent out resumes and have not gotten even an interview, let alone a job offer. I have a "decent" job, but after 4 years in this position I am just burned out.
I have not had a serious relationship since my son's father (he chooses not to be involved in our lives, he has since remarried and had a child with his wife). I got over my feelings for him long ago. I've tried dating on and off during this time, but nothing ever works out, I'll go on 1 date and then I never hear from the guy again. I am tired of going to bed alone every night, having to make all of the decisions myself, tired of having no backup, tired of working all day and then rushing home and having to make dinner and cram 8 hours worth of work into 3 hrs and try to have some "quality" time with my son, tired of having to ask people from church, male relatives, etc, to do the "dad stuff" with my son. I am just so sick of all of this.
I honestly don't feel God cares or has any purpose for my life. I feel that even though I confessed my sin long ago and promised Him I would never do it again (sex outside of marriage/having a child out of wedlock)
He is still punishing me 8 years later. I look ahead to the next 9-10 years and don't see how anything is ever going to change. People in church and friends are praying for me, have been this whole time, but nothing changes. What's the use in believing in God, going to church, praying, etc? Nothing ever changes, at least not in my life. Why is it God' will for me to be alone and try to be the mom, dad and everthing else to my son, and having to run myself into the ground, week after week, year after year? Why it is his will for my son to be without a father? I just don't see how I can do this for 10 more years, I really don't.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 8:41:24 PM
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mvic
Posts: 1544
Joined: 1/17/2008
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Dear Dandy,
I feel that whatever I say here will be just words at a time when you are looking for practical advice and encouragement.
So here is what I shall do:
I will pray for you and your son today in the sure knowledge that He does love you both and cares for you. I shall put this situation in His hands and truly trust Him that He will look after you at this difficult time.
God bless.
_____________________________
Christian words of comfort at http://www.holyvisions.co.uk
Welcome to my Blog
MEI VITA INDICO CHRISTUS
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 9:05:13 PM
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truthrevealed
Posts: 312
Joined: 12/6/2007
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Sometimes we just need to "get it all out." This life is full of so much disappointment, dashed hopes, pain and confusion, I REALLY do understand how you feel....REALLY!!!!!!!!! I pray for you that once your emotions subside a bit you're able to see clearly just how faithful God has been. Despite your ex wanting nothing to do with your child God has made sure you are provided for. You say that you have people helping you and interceding for you---that's God! You've faced great trial and difficulty as a single mom ,yet you're still here despite the opposition and disappointments. You can't do ANYTHING about what you can't do ANYTHING about so give yourself a break and don't stress over what you can't change. Even in the midst of how you feel, I'd tell God all about it! I've had prayer sessions which began with me not feeling very lovey-dovey towards my Father but just releasing my burdens and pleading my cause before Him helped me. He can handle your upset and He's faithful to give you clear vision of how He hasn't left or forsaken you---and He'll give you the strength to go on ONE MORE DAY(looking ten years or ten hours from now will "kill" you---live in the NOW---and NOW God is encouraging you!
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 9:35:49 PM
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PopsiLufsJesus
Posts: 5055
Joined: 5/6/2008
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"Peace, be still, PLEASE be still and know that I am God." ~Rush of Fools
Could I just tell you the truth for a minute...about you and how much you mean to Jesus. You meant enough to Him that He came to die in your place. I know you know this, but listen to it just one more time...The Lord of the universe, the King above all other kings, your Abba Father LOVES you completely! He sees what you go through on a day to day basis; give it all over to Him. Instead of being angry with Him began to get angry with the enemy and what he has taken from you. THE KINGDOM OF GOD HAS SUFFERED VIOLENCE AND THE VIOLENT TAKE IT BACK BY FORCE!!! Jesus has stolen nothing from you. He doesn't put you on probation because of your pasts sins. When you confess He forgives. That doesn't mean that your sin won't have consequences, that just means that you are no longer guilty before Him. He doesn't keep on keeping on...Oh, she did this...UH OH.. I am going to get her...that is silly! He has had and does have open arms towards you. You can run to Him with everything that life's choices has brought you and you can hand 'em over to Him. Because when you give them to Him then they are His responsibility and not yours. You carry as much as you choose to carry, but He wants to carry it all for you. He wants to carry you. To pick you up in His arms. To be in a personal, one on one relationship with you. A relationship of trust...Where when you need something He is there...when you have desires...He wants to give them to you because you are following after Him because you are walking with Him...He wants what is REAL with you. He wants to know you and be KNOWN by you...Know that in the midst of all that is going on right now that you can just give it over to Him and He will take it. The Word says to cast your care on Him, for He cares for you. I believe cast in the Greek means to violently thrust...but don't quote me on that one...Whatever you are going through tonight, whatever you are struggling with tonight...there is freedom...draw from the Spirit of God, get to know Him...love on and be loved by Him...where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!!!!
Peace ...BE STILL! Rest...rest....rest....and when you can't rest....rest!
_____________________________
Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” ~Matthew 9:37-38 
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 9:51:17 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2750
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
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One thing: God is not still punishing you for a sin. If that sin was confessed, it is paid in full. I am not going to give you some pious platitudes as they will be empty.
Life is hard and terribly unfair. But instead of focusing on the temporal focus on the eternal
Zeph 3:17 (ESV) 17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/25/2008 10:06:23 PM
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ladyichigo
Posts: 572
Joined: 10/23/2007
From: Honolulu
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Romans 8:18-39
_____________________________
Mari
I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/26/2008 12:08:40 AM
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Lars-ap-Drw
Posts: 2
Joined: 7/24/2008
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Hello, Dandy123.
I've just spent the past 2 hours sitting on the patio, talking to 25 year old daughter about anything and everything. Though our veiws and opinions don't always mesh, one thing is clearly understood and agreed upon between us: the love we share for each other. It doesn't matter to either of us that I didn't meet her until she was 18, or that my blood doesn't flow in her veins; it's perfectly clear to us, and to anyone who may have seen us that she's MY daughter. (The point being that biology has nothing to do with parental love. Let your support network be there to support you, and your son. Your ex will realize someday what he missed out on. In the meantime, fatherly love doesn't actually need to come from a biological father).
I can feel your frustration coming through your post. Wow!
I won't fill this up with biblical quotes or platitudes, because they probably won't help you right now, in your current state of mind. Let me say only this: God's love is complete and total. He hasn't deserted you, and He never will. It's just that sometimes, we don't understand His ways, or what He's trying to tell us. Please believe, though, that he wants you to be happy.
As far as sleeping alone every night, have you tried joining a single's group in your church? Or perhaps a web site like EHarmony, or ChristianSingles.com? But, before you do that, read 1 Cor., chapter 7.
No matter what, though, God has a plan for you, and your son. Try praying for your ex; not that he comes back, but that he realizes that he has another child who needs him, and has his own kind of love to give. Personally, I can't imagine depriving myself of the special joys of fatherhood, and treasure every second I spend with each of my children. I pray that your ex comes to know that not only is he cheating his son of a father, but he's cheating himself of a very special gift.
But remember the cliche'; "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be Dad." Being Dad is a state of heart, not biology.
LaD
_____________________________
Henceforth, let no man trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/26/2008 11:42:38 AM
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Focusing
Posts: 5989
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First things first: (((Dandy)))
Hugs can be very healing, I wish I could give you one in person.
Next, I can completely understand where you're coming from. I'm a single mom too. It can totally stink big time, on oh so many levels.  But, realize one thing: everything in life is a choice. I get the feeling you are in one of those dark valleys. KNOW beyond any doubt that Jesus is there, reaching His hand out, waiting for you to grab it. Even if you can't see it right now, He is.
I want to share with you one of my favorite verses, because I have had to turn to it many times (and I still do regularly): Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Psalm 119:105) Notice it isn't saying He has lighted up the entire world for you to view ... it says a lamp unto your feet. To me, that means one step at a time. When I get frustrated and wonder "God, where are you?", I need to close my eyes for a moment, take a deep breath, and search out the light from that lamp. Sometimes I need to go to a quiet place and ask "God, can you make the light a little brighter please? I'm just not seeing it." Sometimes I need to ask Him to help me with every little tiny choice I need to make "God, what do I do?"
Do you see it? Do you see how He so desperately want me to lean on Him for everything? How He wants me to seek His face constantly? He wants the same from you.
Don't feel guilty for how you feel right now. Let it out. Cry out to God, He is listening. He wants to help. Take one step at a time, and you will find your way out of that valley ... with His help every step of the way. Believe me, there will be other valleys, but each time you recognize that's where you have landed, and you seek His face for help, it will be a little easier. You are learning to lean on His strength.
How do I know all this stuff?
*giant sigh*
*tears*
I had it all at one time. Now, very little. I won't go into details, but I am divorced. I walked out of my life, my beautiful home, a wonderful well-paying job, to another state. My son was with me. He was 8 at the time. What do I know about being a dad to an all-boy son? I'm a girly girl. I had to start over, making less than half what I had been making. I had to live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, my son had the bedroom so he could have his space and room to play, while I slept on the couch in the living room. I gave up everything and tried to make things as "normal" as possible for him. I worked full time, he went to child care. I never gave it a second thought - at least he had kids his age to play with and he was in a supervised situation. I'd get home after work, and like you, I still had my job of being mom and keeping house. It was exhausting. You know that very well. But what was my choice? (Everything is a choice) Instead of doing everything all by myself and wearing myself out, I chose to teach my son life skills. How to be productive. How to be independent. He learned how to cook some things - he's 12 now and he made dinner for us last night. He learned how to clean and vacuum the apartment. He learned how to do laundry. He learned that we don't have a lot of money to do all the things we used to do, and he learned how to think along the lines of "budget activities". We joined a wonderful church and spent time there not only on Sunday, but also on Wednesday, and other times when various activities were going on. Know something? He was the only child who would volunteer to help out when he saw a need. Know something else? I've received lots of positive comments from others commenting what a great job I'm doing as a mom. Know what else? My son has received lots of positive affirmations from others as well. And in the midst of it all, he still goes and plays with the other kids too. He still has fun. He is learning about God. He is learning about responsibility. He is learning about making choices. He is learning that he still needs to find time to kick back and just have fun.
I have chosen to take my responsibilities as a single mom and make the best of each opportunity. I am far from perfect. I still have the occasional self-induced pity party. But, I choose to keep my eyes focused on the end goal: getting through life with the necessities (roof, food, clothing) and raising a child who will be a productive part of society when he moves out from under my roof.
Choose to see the good in your life (you have a decent job, you can pay your bills, you and your son are in good health). Choose to improve the things you can. Be creative in your choices. Seek God, continually ask Him for guidance. KNOW He is here for you all the time, even for the tiny little "nothing" things. One day, you will be sharing something with Him and a little bulb will go off, He will tell you something and you will go "oh duh" and you two will share a laugh. The key is you need to be open in your communication with Him. It will happen, and it will be a turning point in your life. It was for me. Sharing a laugh with God is an amazing thing. 
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/26/2008 12:24:09 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2750
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus
is the truth considered a platitude?
Depends how it is used. Can't be used to "beat someone over the head" or to encourage. Look at Job's friends as good/bad examples.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/26/2008 1:48:21 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1859
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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(((Hugs))) to you, dear heart. You are having a hard time, and I grieve for you.
As others have said, God is not punishing you. If you have confessed and repented, it was washed away forever by the blood at that point. What you are seeing is consequences. If a person cuts their foot off, they can repent of hurting themselves and God forgives it, but the foot is still gone. It's not punishment, and the person learns how to cope. We all cope with something, and often many things. It's through our weakness that God is shown to be strong. He gets the glory, He helps us, and we become the shining trophies in His trophy case (Eph. 2:7) to show His glory forever. We're on His side, and He is on ours. But for a little while, it's hard. We cry out to Him and soldier on; and God gives grace to us. If we could see things from where He sits, we'd clap our hands and say, "God, that's pure genius how You worked that out! Thanks for letting me be part of such a good thing, even though it was hard for a little while. The end is so great!"
This also may help you:
The masterwork of Miguelangelo was the "Pieta". The masterwork of DaVinci was "the Lord's Supper." The masterwork of *your* life is your son. He is the most important thing in your life, and the love and training you give him will spill down to his children, his grandchildren, and so on. You are changing a dark world for the better, one minute at a time. Take heart, dear one. Someday you will only be a name on an old geneology, but your descendents will bear something from you: love of God, hard work ethic, love of family, perserverence, etc.
The body of Christ is being built into a temple, and part of that comes from us needing one another. It's a blessing for you to fit into God's plans, and it shapes other Christians into His plan and glory when they help you.
Go hug that boy, tell him he's important to you and that you love him (even if he squirms; he'll remember those words all his life), and go do the next 5 minutes. And the five minutes after that. And the... you get my drift.
I am praying for you today, dear heart. This won't last forever, so be faithful and keep on keeping on. God has good plans, and someday you'll look back and see His hand, and you'll rejoice.
I wish I could come cook a meal for you and do your laundry today...
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/26/2008 7:23:26 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2750
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
Status: offline
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Main Entry: plat·i·tude
Pronunciation: \ˈpla-tə-ˌtüd, -ˌtyüd\
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from plat flat, dull
Date: 1812
1 : the quality or state of being dull or insipid
2 : a banal, trite, or stale remark
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/27/2008 9:28:30 PM
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slimon11
Posts: 188
Joined: 2/10/2008
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Dandy123,
You are doing a great job! You are a great mom! I usually don’t like to give too many personal details on the forum but, I understand how you feel. I am a unwed mother, about your age, no father in the picture. I think when some of us give birth, we look at our babies and think: How can something so pure come from someone so impure? No matter what situation our children are born into, they are always a gift from God!
He gave you the gift of your son because He knew it was best. Personally, I knew I wasn’t mature enough to raise a child on my own so, I finally turned to God and finally got on His path. Who knows what would have happened to me if I would have continued on my own path, nothing good I am sure.
Being single and not having help isn’t punishment either. For me, I think He is refining me and preparing me to be of greater use to Him. When we are single, we have more time to be with Him, more chances to rely on Him, more chances to learn from Him.
Life may seem monotonous and hard but, God is a forward moving God with a plan, a good plan! A new season will come for us. I also believe in God’s eyes, I am right where I am supposed to be because of both my failures and my successes. He uses everything we’ve been through to help others and further His kingdom. He see the big picture that I don’t see . I may never see it until I get to heaven but, it is His picture so, I know it is good.
I daydream a lot. I admit, I am not living the life I dreamed of as a kid. But, we don’t have to worry when we daydream about heaven. It is a wonderful place and He is going to exceed our greatest hope. There have been times when someone has done something nice for me, and I know there is nothing I can do to pay them back for their kindness, I am unable express the depth my gratitude. When that happens, I usually say a prayer, asking God to please grant that person a heavenly reward for what they have done for me. For my mom, a gardener, I imagine Him planting a new species of flower in her garden at heaven. Just think of what your space is going to be like. He has a wonderful place prepared just for you.
What helps me when I am down, is to keep my eyes on the kingdom of heaven.
I work in a shelter with single moms trying to get on their feet. Trust me, you are blessed! Some of them would love to be in your shoes. Some of them can’t hold a job, can’t drive, don’t have a home, don’t understand how to budget, don’t know how to apply for a credit card or even cook, let alone know to turn to Jesus for the answers. They would love to have the skills to take care of their families.
Oh and, I was reading a newspaper article a while back that said many single women are age freaking out. Often they had planned to be starting their families by now but, haven’t met Mr. Right. The article said if marriage is what we want, not to worry, that 90% of us will get married some time in our life, although, it may not be until we are in our 40s or 50s. How blessed are we, that we already have children; we don’t have to worry that we will miss out on being a mom or rush into a relationship because our biological clocks are ticking.
I will be praying for you.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/28/2008 6:01:47 PM
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lightbeamrider
Posts: 79
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline
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It wud be interesting to see where the three of u are at 5 or 10 years from now. Wud the biological father still be happily married or divorced? My guess is the latter. The further he goes in debt the more of a burden he will be to whoever was unfortunate enuf to marry him. What woman in her right mind marries a dead beat dad? My child support obligation was paid off a few yrs back. I paid for 20 yrs and it was paid in full with interest. In jail i sat with men who did 6 months time (no good time) for not paying child support. When they got out they had no driver's licence. In Minnesota, your driver's license is pulled after the payor falls so far behind in child support obligations. If that is true in Pa then that means daddy will either drive illegally (which will cause all kinds of problems; no drivers license, no insurance etc.) or his wife will have to haul him around. Too bad for her. If u connect with a man and marry u may loose ur earned income credit because ur income will at least double assuming u marry a man who earns at least as much as u. Things take time to happen, seeds take time to grow. Like other people have printed, stick to ur guns, take things one day at a time, learn from ur mistakes. What do u say to some young gal who has fallen for a loser and is crawling in the sack with him? Now that u know what u know? Does it do any good or does it fall of deaf ears? I work side by side with single parents who say the same thing and go thru the same struggles. So u are not alone and others have made it thru. Will pray for u and ur son. God Bless.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/28/2008 7:01:17 PM
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jmjphe
Posts: 80
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
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Hi Dandy I hope you read the responses here and truley take it to heart; it is important to do so and heres why: One way God is showing his love to YOU RIGHT NOW is the genuine hearfelt responses from all of us here. I've read through them and I see nothing but love and encourgement from us. I'd like to take my response and break into two parts: A general or overall response, and a more specific response, in that order.
Here we go.
Its time to take a dose of the courage of general Joshua before the battle of Jericho. Its time to become fed up with this and its time to make if fully known to God. Its time to FIGHT! put on the proverbial armor and tackle this situation both on the outside and the inside. There isnt a single person here who hasn't been through the storm(s) that shook their foundation, wether it be divorce, financial trouble, sexual abuse, drug addiction, depression etc, or a combo of them.
You know your situation better than anyone here. I can tell you from personal experience that this makes for one massive talk (verbally spoken prayer) with the Lord. Here is what I've found to be a great way to do that: When your driving by yourself (its best if your on your way home...because well its your home) put on a Christian radio station or a Chrsitian CD and keep the volume somewhat low. Than as you drive verbally talk to the Lord in a regualr voice. Make it passionate and meaningful. Something like "Lord father God I need you to get me through this, I WILL fight this and WIN with your help". Go into detail about what this situation is doing to you and your family both on the outside (financial trobule for example) and the inside (your anger with God)...yes Tell him this makes you angery at him and why; let it out and talk to him and ask him to guide you with confidence. But always understand you WILL WIN with his help! I've given some examples but the prayer itself should come from the heart, it doesnt have to sound like a literaty novel, just from the heart. When you got it all out always close the prayer in the Name of Jesus for he is lord and savior and the way to God.
Now I am going to give my more specific response.
To alleviate some of the financial burden I'd reccomend looking into other facets than a state's domestic relations department. If your on vacation take 1 day to research the options that a single parent has...the goal here is to get in contact with a case worker (they wont always be called that I assume) who can work with you and your son's needs specfically. There is probably alot you havent learned about this stuff. You dont come off as a lazy deadbeat person and you surely seem entitled for help and support. Sometimes the help I'm talking about wont always come from the state but from non-profit or privatized orgnaizations. I mean some avenues may be dead ends (expect that) but you will find support if you keep looking. Alot of the options have to be researched and found, they rarely ever find the person in need. Heck, you and your son may be entitled to health/dental insruance for example and you just never knew it. Heres an idea, talk with a financial advisor from your bank, (make sure its a financial advisor and not a customer service rep.) and see what he/she knows. They may not be able to to much directly, but they may be able to point you in the right direction because what your doign here is your taking advantage (in a morale way) of there expertise in the field.
In regards to dating and having a CONSISTENT father figure in your son's life...its hard i can imagine. But as harsh as this sounds, that issue although needing to be addressed and important, is secondary to you and your son be able to gain the support you need and to having some level of financial stability. I can garauntee you once the "getting back on your feet" starts to gain momentum, and your relationship to God strengthens, a strong Christian man and father-figure will enter your life and take you by a joyous suprise.
If you would like any help research your options feel free to send me a message on here and we will see what we cna come up with.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/28/2008 9:13:51 PM
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BibleL7
Posts: 493
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
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(((((((((((Dandy123))))))))))))))
First I will say you are not being punished for past sin but you are paying the consequences as was said in previous posts. You said you have had some church members help with the dad part in your sons life then God is certainly with you and helping you in that. You might ask your pastor or minister if there is someone in the church that is a mechanic that may be able to help with the car such as help you in taking it to the shop and just help you to know what is going on.
Pray for your sons father that the Lord will touch his heart to come to know the Lord. Your son is certainly old enough to help in household chores. And dont think that is just for single parents I was raised with both parents a brother and sister yet each of us was taught to cook and clean house. Our dad said he had 3 children and his wife should not have to lift a finger of house work, but we all three kids grew knowing how to cook and clean and take responsibility. And as he gets to be in teens you will be able to tell him how he should not take after his bio father. Teach him to respect women.
Check and see what ministries your church has that might help you. Remember that members of the church are your brothers and sisters. We are all part of the body of Christ and we can not do it alone. That is why the Lord puts people into congregations to help others in the congregation. You may just find you also have a part to play in helping others. You can also be an example to the teens in your church and tell them that it is OK to not have sex before marriage. You can tell the teen girls from experience that sometimes it does not work out. But dont be bitter about it, however they do need to hear from someone who cares enough to tell them not to make that mistake.
As for being alone pray, pray and pray. You are in a church so dont look to date anybody outside of the church. Pray before accepting a date. Most of all pray for help in getting through as a single person each and every day. Ask the Lord for strength and comfort. And as for 10 more years dont think about it. I know many say to plan ahead but in James we are told to pray and say if it is the Lords will we will do such and such. Enough are the worries of the day. It may seem to be a rut but from my experience things in life change before you know it. So keep in prayer, love your son and love your heavenly Father. Ask Him for help. This helps much more than cussing Him out daily trust me, been there done that.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/29/2008 8:38:02 AM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 315
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: online
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Hello dandy123
I know it's rough being a single mother. But that's all the more reason why you need to drop the pitty party and get closer to God. It grieves His heart that your husband left. That IS NOT His plan for any person. He loves with an everlasting love.
You need to seek out a church that has a strong viable women's fellowship. Take in teachings of leaders like Joyce Meyer whom the Lord has brought through situations much like yours.
Inicidentaly, does your husband contribute to child support? If he doesn't, some states have hard laws for such cases. So, if he doesn't support the son he made, go after him with every legal means you can find, including prayers, especially of other women in Christ.
Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That is out of scripture. If you don't know where that is, find a concordance and look it up.
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/29/2008 7:24:33 PM
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atruefaith
Posts: 289
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
Why is it God' will for me to be alone and try to be the mom, dad and everthing else to my son, and having to run myself into the ground, week after week, year after year? Why it is his will for my son to be without a father? I just don't see how I can do this for 10 more years, I really don't.
I have to admit that I understand your complaint - though my hardships are far different. For 32 years I toiled in the wilderness of a pretend faith, of failures, of broken relationships and of hypocrisy.
Long ago, there was a woman married to an abusive man. She had a son and somehow stayed with the man despite the repeated beatings and mistreatments. Nevertheless, she clung to Christ though her son followed in her husband’s footsteps – only he abused women by sexual conquest for personal gratification. At the age of 32 the son came to Christ and his father, with his mother still at his side, came to Jesus as well. It was the woman’s sufferings that God used to bring them both to Jesus and the son grew up to be one of the greatest pastors (if not the greatest) of the Christian faith. And it all happened because God had given his mother the strength to endure her hardships.
There was also a man who walked this earth for 33 years who could have asked your questions, but didn’t. He never had any children. He spent the last three years of life trying to convince his brothers, sisters, parents and fellow countrymen that he knew the path to true freedom. Though he was the wisest and performed miracles among them, he was ostracized, ridiculed and eventually brutally murdered for humbly serving each of them. Yet he believed that there was a greater joy on the other side of his suffering. He was right, and I am so glad and thankful he was right.
With all respect, you assume an outcome here that you cannot possibly know.
Have faith in Jesus, have faith particularly that a greater joy and a better outcome lies on the other side of your present suffering. It may be another 8 years before he acts, but when he acts you’ll look back on it all with a smile realizing that his perfect timing and plan led to a greater glory for him and a greater joy for you.
_____________________________
A blog about authentic faith...
www.atruefaith.com
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RE: At the breaking point - 7/29/2008 8:50:32 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 899
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
Status: offline
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I pretty much agree with what has already been said here. I have no personal insight on your situation since I have no children. But I have known others who are in your same situation. I understand your outlook on the pa system, since I live in pa also.
I know popsi already said this and it is hard to do when you don't understand why things are the way they are, but, be still and know that He is God, believe in Him and trust in Him to get you through. It is important for you to get a little downtime for yourself, and since you seem extremely busy, I would suggest to make a schedule. You need time to relax, your body needs time to relax, and so does your mind and soul.
I understand also the frustration to a degree(me being a single man, you a single mom)with the dating, singles scene. If this is important to you, pray about it. Put it in His hands.
It is ok to vent, just don't let it make you bitter towards Him. Believe He will help you through, and know that you have a bunch more people praying for you. Take care.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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