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Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/2/2008 4:24:06 PM
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u01rdw4
Posts: 12
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: Aberdeen, Scotland
Status: offline
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Hi all,
I realise that this should be in the "Relationships" forum, but I thought that if I posted it here then people who have experienced this and who wouldn't normally go there would see it and respond!
First some background info: Me and my girlfriend got together in March. Since we lived 200 miles apart, we decided to just get to know each other better until she finished university and moved back the same city as me, since maintaining a long distance relationship is hard, never mind starting one!. We've known each other as friends for 3 years, so it was important to take it slow and make sure it was what God wanted us to do.
After only seeing her for 2 weeks out in total out of 4 months, we've now been in the same city for just under a week.
My problem is this: In February she's going to Brazil for a year to do work with street children and child slaves. We've always known that this was happening (another reason we made sure it was God's will!). I fully support her trip. Although I'll miss her, I know it's what God wants her to do and she'll grow as a Christian by going.
Basically I was wondering if anyone in the forums has experienced a similar situation? Has anyone ever had to maintain a long distance relationship for a year (or longer)? We live in Scotland, so the distance is 6000 miles. I'm saving up to visit her, but 6 months is still a long time.
Any advice or testimonies would be very much appreciated.
Just now I'm thinking that if God wants us to stay together then He'll provide the power and strength for us to do so!
_____________________________
Even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honourable behaviour (1 Peter 2:12)
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/2/2008 4:26:52 PM
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slushie
Posts: 2016
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: u01rdw4
Just now I'm thinking that if God wants us to stay together then He'll provide the power and strength for us to do so!
Well, that's true...
_____________________________
Testify to Love
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/2/2008 5:07:37 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17202
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
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Moving from General Faith to Relationships
Sincerely
Kath
Please do not comment on this action in the community or send me a PM about it. If you have questions, comments or concerns please email Fritz at community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply.
quote:
I realise that this should be in the "Relationships" forum, but I thought that if I posted it here then people who have experienced this and who wouldn't normally go there would see it and respond!
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/2/2008 7:36:34 PM
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blackhat
Posts: 9
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
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I stayed in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years (it also started out as long distance). It didn't last though...
It's just a matter of how you grow together as a couple as well as individuals. It didn't work out in my case because we ended up in 2 very different places in our lives.
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/3/2008 6:39:40 PM
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ptz
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline
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Yes, my husband and I had to maintain a long distance relationship from the beginning. We met on a christian website, and he is from NE and I am CA. We met after about 6 months for the first time, and then he was going off to Iraq. Basically, from our meeting to marriage, all of our relationship was long distance. We probably have RECORD cell phone bills  , We also e mailed constantly. I have to say that a long distance relationship CAN work!!!, and can be very rewarding. We both knew that we loved eachother very much, and werent going to let something like distance separate us. We were apart for 1 year until we got to see each other again. We both missed eachother terribly, but it was SO worth it. We have been married for 2 years, and i dont regret one bit of our journey to get to where we are today!!. It takes ALOT of commitment, steadfastness and trust to be in a long distance relationship. i knew that i loved him to much to let him go.
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/4/2008 3:03:48 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4419
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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...... My parents did.... back in the 'old days'. 
My mother has a metal box of many many letters my dad wrote to her while they were apart.... (this was before they were married). She got out that old metal box after my dad passed away in January.... we read the letters.... we cried... and we realized what a gift they were....
LD relationships are challenging.... and worth it.
For you to support your sweetie and wait for her is a wonderful thing... it shows your strength of character... and your obedience to recognize God first in your relationship.
She will come back bolder and changed.... and her heart will be closer to God....
.... and you will meet her as the Godly man you are.
I can't think of anything cooler....
Way to be.... way to be.
_____________________________
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/4/2008 3:06:10 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for about 18 months. We met online - I was in Maryland, he in Minnesota. We talked every day by computer or phone. We learned more about each other then most couples do when dating locally :) And without the physical part.
The keys are COMMUNICATION, TRUST, FAITHFULNESS, AND LOVE. If you don't have these, the relationship will not work.
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/6/2008 1:16:43 AM
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lilgeezy
Posts: 2
Joined: 8/6/2008
Status: offline
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Hey there! I actually just joined because I hoped that I could encourage
you with my similar experience. I met a girl in March of 2007. Amazing
girl. Up front I told her that I was leaving for Kenya for 4 1/2 months
(I realize it's not quite as long as yours, but hear me out :)) in September.
She said "okay". Within a month, we knew that this was something that
God was blessing. We knew that our relationship was meant to be something
more than a short term thing.
Anyway, the weeks building up to my departure, we just had as much fun
as we could. When it came time to go, it was the hardest thing in the world.
But, we both learned so much about ourselves and each other in my absense.
God took her from being something that I NEEDED in life to something I truely just
wanted and treasured. I appreciated her for the blessing she was.
And because we didn't get to talk much at all while I was there, we depending on God's
grace and comfort to get us through it. Let me tell you, we asked and we receieved.
We each experienced an almost eerie comfort. The 4 1/2 months flew by, and while we
definitely missed each other, we missed each other in the name of Jesus! We missed each
other while we were strengthening up spiritually and while I was spreading God's good news!
I have no doubt that it was God's intervention that made our time apart so easy.
That time apart was a test on our relationship. It was also a time where we each
could build each other up in new ways (via emails, letters, and the few phone calls)
and it was a time that we were exercising our spirits so that we could be re-join
even more prepared to take on whatever God had for us. Now I've been back for 7 months,
and she's left for culinary school in New York. Talk about a long distance relationship! (I'm in TX!)
We've spent almost as much time living thousands of miles apart as we
have in the same city!! But I know that as long as God remains in the center
of our relationship, that we will continue to feel this comfort about ourselves.
I'll tell you what else - when your year is over and you're back together
you will be such a testimony and encouragement to the next guy who is about
to have a year away due to missionary work.
It's amazing what God can do. Just trust Him. I wish you all the best!
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/7/2008 2:19:27 PM
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bokwriter
Posts: 3
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline
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My husband and I dated in a long-distance relationship for over two years. It was difficult, but we made sure every time we turned around that we were in God's boundaries. We prayed together on the phone daily. we searched for scripture to help us get thru our pain. Remember, if it's of God, it will not fail; if it's of Man, it will not succeed. If you're in God's will and look to please Him, your relationship, while it may be difficult, will be blessed and God will show you ways to deal with it. That's what happened for us. It was hard at times, but we knew we were in a place of obedience. That was the key for us. Keep us posted as to how you're doing.
_____________________________
Robin
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/7/2008 10:13:52 PM
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cblueiis
Posts: 15
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline
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My friend is in Iraq and talk about stressful !!!! It can be done but it takes much prayer and fortitude to be able to survive. There are times when I am sooo lonely I could scream but that is when I reach for my Bible and read God's word and know that thru Him and prayer we can make it. I believe if it is God'w will then it will be. I question sometimes if our relationship is God's Will but there are no simple or easy answers. Again I say pray and talk to each other about it. Communication is a must....we talk every Saturday morning. It keeps both of us going that and emails.
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RE: Advice Needed For Future Long Distance Relationship - 8/11/2008 1:47:54 PM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4419
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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.... Go!
It will be a wonderful source of joy.... and it will mean sooo much to her to know that you are making such a huge investment in her.
... and goodness... how cool to have the opportunity to share in part of her world! 
Change is good.... her roots are in Christ.... how can that kind of growth go wrong?
...
Yes... Brazil sounds dangerous.... I remember once riding a rickety old school bus through a forest in Guatemala.... after the bus ride was over... I learned that the route was sooo dangerous, even the Peace Corps wouldn't travel that route....
It was a prime spot for ambush....
Our bus was stopped... men in uniforms boarded... they had machine guns around their necks... pistols in their belts... yelling at us.... we could have died that day.... but Jesus prevailed.... we all made it home safely.
It was worth the trip.... you see... at the end of the road was an orphanage... filled with little children... even teenagers... who didn't know Jesus.
Jesus rocks my world.... and this was only one circumstance out of many that I needed in order to be able to trust Jesus with my life....
Sometimes.... life isn't about us.....
_____________________________
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