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Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 3:23:21 PM
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bananapie
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From: Ohio
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How do you define adultery?
My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been confronting this question lately, trying to decide where exactly the line lays, and after weeks of prayer, reading scripture on the matter, and even Internet research, we're no closer to a good definition for adultery. Any help?
Thanks,
Kaylin
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-MLK, jr.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 5:00:36 PM
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csl7037
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Matthew 5:28 NIV
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Doesn't that make any other definitions moot?
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 5:17:33 PM
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ta_mosquito
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I think a good enough definition is "being sexually involved with someone you're not married to." Of course, there is the debate on whether there's such a thing as emotional adultery...
I think CSL has it right - the issue isn't defining it in its tiniest detail; the issue is to stay far away from it. Guard your heart, and all that.
If you are asking due to the "divorce isn't permitted except in cases of adultery" question, that would be best discussed in this thread:
Remarriage After Divorce
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"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 5:44:11 PM
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NoShow
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Here's what you do.
Both of you define what your limits are, for yourself, if you're in a commited relationship.
Next, both of you define what is acceptable to you, in regards to the other.
Rank them and the most stringent becomes your definition.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 5:46:54 PM
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jn1010lf
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Hello kaylinb
Tell me. Are you not sure that the two of you are trying to justify possible physical intimacy? If you already have, are you not tring to justify it.
God created man and woman. I think the two of you should ask Him and accept His answer. You may find Him saying, "Do stay dressed from the waist down till married."
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 6:36:41 PM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NoShow
Here's what you do.
Both of you define what your limits are, for yourself, if you're in a commited relationship.
Next, both of you define what is acceptable to you, in regards to the other.
Rank them and the most stringent becomes your definition.
That sounds way too relative for me.
quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
Hello kaylinb
Tell me. Are you not sure that the two of you are trying to justify possible physical intimacy? If you already have, are you not tring to justify it.
I was wondering the same thing. Or at least wondering if this was even an appropriate conversation for two dating people to be having (assuming it wasn't centered on something between them but was all hypothetical).
quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
God created man and woman. I think the two of you should ask Him and accept His answer. You may find Him saying, "Do stay dressed from the waist down till married."
But...WHAT?!?!? "waist down" jives with the Bible? I don't see how it jives with the verse I quoted above!! (BTW, God's NOT going to say anything that doesn't agree with the Bible so if that's what you "find him saying" don't accept it.)
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 7:01:27 PM
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deermousie
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The OT folk knew that adultery was people having sex when they were married to someone else.
Jesus kind of said, "There's more to adultery than you realize: it's your heart as well as your body." They hadn't realized until then that God's definition was bigger than theirs. Or else they were pretending ignorance as a loophole to excuse their sin.
Kinda makes you wonder what else we don't get, doesn't it?
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 7:19:12 PM
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jaimestarcross
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Adultery: turning away from God's standards for righteousness and going
back to doing things according to the World's standards.
In short: embracing sinfulness.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/20/2008 8:53:53 PM
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nevaehs_gaze
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I think adultery not only consists of marital mental and physical sexual immorality, but also emotional - giving your heart to someone other than your spouse, even if there is no 'lust' involved. It's denying your spouse something physically and emotionally intimate that is rightfully theirs, and belongs to no other.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/21/2008 12:28:51 PM
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bananapie
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From: Ohio
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First, thanks to everyone for their input.
Second, I'm not trying to justify anything. I've heard a lot of conflicting statements about this subject, some from people who really are trying to justify their sins and some from legitimate sources. I'm trying to get more opinions from people who maybe have more experience than I do in both Christianity and relationships.
I agree that Matt 5:28 is probably the closest to a real 'definition' of adultery we're going to get, and I've already come across it in my own search.
CSL- why is this anything but an appropriate conversation? Is it not important to discuss something like this with one's significant other, make sure you're both on the same page and not going to do anything morally ambiguous that you will regret?
_____________________________
"Without Him all of our efforts turn to ashes and our sunrises into darkest nights."
-MLK, jr.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/21/2008 1:40:27 PM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kaylinb
CSL- why is this anything but an appropriate conversation? Is it not important to discuss something like this with one's significant other, make sure you're both on the same page and not going to do anything morally ambiguous that you will regret?
I think it's all in the intention and nature of the conversation and the level of the relationship.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/22/2008 8:06:31 PM
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litfire2000
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
The OT folk knew that adultery was people having sex when they were married to someone else.
Jesus kind of said, "There's more to adultery than you realize: it's your heart as well as your body." They hadn't realized until then that God's definition was bigger than theirs. Or else they were pretending ignorance as a loophole to excuse their sin.
Kinda makes you wonder what else we don't get, doesn't it?
I think there's a whole lot we "don't get". An old minister I know would say, "The more I learn, the more I realize I know less and less about more and more".
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Ps. 122:6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/24/2008 1:01:58 PM
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DaveW
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The definition of adultery is a sexual violation of the marriage covenant. That makes it distinct from premarital sex where there is no marriage covenant in force.
In the polygamist time of the OT, adultery was (for a man) having sex with a woman who was married to someone else and (for a married woman) having sex with another man. It was not adultery if the woman was single.
In the accepted tradition of the church which eschews polygamy, it is (for a married person) having sex with someone other than your spouse, and (for a single person) it is having sex with a married person.
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RE: Adultery Definition - 11/27/2008 6:21:20 AM
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MisterTR
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You are talking about what adultery means before any sort of commitment, right? I guess I would share some of the concerns expressed on that, depending on all the circumstances, but at least you are talking about these deeper issues.
I didn't talk about the subject of adultery with my wife even after we were engaged, and not even during our marriage until recently. I just assumed we agreed. Long story short, we didn't agree, and she committed some indiscretions that she honestly thought were no big deal because they didn't meet her definition of adultery. (They met mine.) If we had had the discussion, we might have avoided a lot of hurt over the past few months.
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"And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
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